TLDR: Long distance best friend (who has been having a rough time lately) keeps making plans to play games with me, then goes MIA when I try to contact her. Hours later she will have some reason she can’t/couldn’t play. I feel like my time is being wasted/ I am sort of held hostage at my house because I value our time together and don’t want to miss a chance to hang out.
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My long distance best friend who i’ve known for like like 10 years has been having a really bad time irl lately, so i’ve been debating bringing this up at all to her as I do not want to hurt her. But its been going on now for a couple of months, but gotten much worse recently. Basically, she will give me the times she wants to play video games with me, and then when I message her to tell her I’m ready when she is, 9/10 times I will be ignored for hours (occasionally over a day) and then at some point be greeted with a “oops I fell asleep” or something to that degree. Often I will see her check the message right after i’ve sent it, so I’m definitely being ignored intentionally. I’ll admit, I am VERY sensitive to rejection, hence why I’m rarely the one to reach out in the first place but I’ve really been making an effort because I understandably want to know how she’s doing and what she’s up to. It just really bothers me when she’s the one that sets the times and consistently fails to show up (on discord). I feel like I can’t do anything because I’m always waiting on her. She’s really my only friend outside of my boyfriend who I live with, but we (my boyfriend and I) don’t like the same types of games so we don’t play together that often. Even then I don’t feel I request very much of her time, and she tells me I’m really her only close friend too.
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Another thing that upsets me is she was really my rock when I went through the exact same thing with my last friend that I had from Highschool. She kept doing the same thing (making plans with me, but it was worse because we weren’t long distance so these were actual events/places we made plans to go hang out at) and would ghost me, then later have an excuse as to why it didn’t work out. Eventually I stopped talking to this person, and the whole time my current best friend seemed very understanding about why it bothered me, so I’m just hurt that she’s now doing the same thing to me. Its really affecting my self-esteem. Never had many friends and I just always feel like a burden when asking people to hang out, so constantly forcing myself to make plans and then repeatedly being ghosted is doing a number on my mental health. I also feel like I can’t bring it up because what my friend is going through is arguably worse and I just don’t want to bother her with my (likely) mental delusions.
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So should I just keep pretending everything is fine between us and wait it out to see if this gets better, or is this worth bringing up?
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