What do you think the dating advice for men commonly seen online?

12 comments

1. That most of it is written by guys who don’t have significant others

2. I’ve had had decent success with cycling short terms on the dating apps over the previous decade. I only flipped back to a long term at 38. But it was a lot of trial and error finding what worked for me and figuring out the unwritten rules for the first year or two.

   From that perspective, some of the advice is good. Most of it is garbage peddling particular agendas. The best advice I’ve seen has been from guys who clearly know what they are doing and have been around the block. Some of the worst was from women which frankly would just sabotage the guys who don’t know any better and use it.

3. The only good dating advice is to just be yourself.

4. It seems phoned in, at least people don’t seem to put the amount of care and sincerity into it that they do for women. A lot of it doesn’t have the nuance that might take women being in the wrong into play as much.

5. 1). The be yourself and be a nice guy advice is bad advice.

   Instead sell yourself

   DOES:
   Show only your victories, be confident but not arrogant, dress to impress. Shower and wear expensive after shave. Front as much as you can but don’t boost. Pay for the first date. Learn to be funny or have at least a few funny stories that are not offensive. If you can’t think what to talk about on the first date ask her/him about themselves, people love to talk about themselves. Good Topics are Education, dreams, life goals, best day of their lives. Most embarrassing events, ask them what would their favorite superpower would be. What’s their pets names. After that just keep the ball rolling.

   DONTS:
   Don’t be afraid to be rejected. Instead expect it. And handle that rejection well. Thank them for the date and leave. Don’t be offended or insulted it happens to the best so don’t be hostle be graceful about it. You will respect yourself more for it.

6. It’s just a lot of background noise. Guys trying to sell courses and products and act like they are the ultimate womanizers. Like others here have touched on, being yourself is the best advice. Cliche, but think about it, don’t you want a girl to date/sleep with you for who you are?

7. Most of the time people are just giving a copy-pasted, low effort response to shut the guy up.

8. 99+% of what I at least have seen is worthless at best.

9. A lot of it is written by women who write what only works for herself, who don’t consider the bigger picture or step into his shoes, and often are just trying to be nice.

   You’ll also have to weave through the advice written by either snake oil salesman or overly bitter men, but you just need some intuition for that.

10. I’ve seen alot of good advice online.

    In my experience, in a public forum like reddit the snippets of good advice are usually upvoted more so they float to the top and the top voted comments are usually pretty decent.

    but uh, take everything with a grain of salt. these spaces are also often echo chambers.

    keep in mind also that its easier for a third party to peer into your situation with a objective perspective and easily make points that are good across the board. In reality things are often messy or sloppy. But it’s ok to forgive yourself. In general I think most people are good people and they are just trying to do what they think is best.

11. An awful lot of it seems to be based on the premise that finding love requires one to be a serial sex pest and that you need to be in a couple for feelings to happen.

    It’s all backwards.

12. It’s shit