Here’s the deal. I’m somewhat on the spectrum, and while making eye contact in a one-on-one situation is no problem for me, for some reason making eye contact with multiple people in a group is very difficult. So usually I pick one or two people to make consistent eye contact with and I do not look at anyone else. I’ll answer them if they talk, but for some reason it almost hurts to look at more than one person in a group. If I force myself to, it’s only for a second and it feels so vulnerable and embarrassing that I have to stop. I feel like a huge jerk because most of the time, I wind up not looking at one friend in particular, who we’ll call Stella.
Stella is a lot more on the spectrum as me and has told me she also feels very uncomfortable making eye contact, but I haven’t noticed her avoiding eye contact with anyone before. I can’t tell if she’s just doing it to be nice or if she’s just more comfortable with it than she lets on. Anyway, almost every time she and I are together in a group of 3 or more, I choose not to look at her and choose to make eye contact with some other person instead. She’s never mentioned it and doesn’t appear to be hurt by it, but I still feel like a crappy person when I do it. I don’t know why I don’t choose to look at her instead of the others, but for some reason it just feels so extremely vulnerable to look at her specifically in a group.
I think it might be because she’s also neurodivergent so it just feels really intense to make eye contact with her in a group?? I’m not sure. I have no issue looking her in the eye alone. Has anyone else experienced this? How can I become more comfortable making eye contact with her/everyone in a group of people?