My boyfriend is not really interested in pleasuring me, he only wants to 69 so I will give him a blowjob. During sex, he’s not bothered about my pleasure, only his own.. he will say “I want to cum but I feel bad because you haven’t” which makes me respond with things like “don’t worry”
He always mentions how he wants to do anal because he’s never tried it. But I really don’t like anal, I’ve tried it before.. and I would only be doing it to make him happy which I don’t think is fair. I don’t have a foot fetish but he always wants me to jerk him off with my feet and this makes me uncomfortable.. as well his requests for me to dress up in cosplay and have sex.. I’m just not into these things.. and I don’t know what to do anymore.
10 comments
Move on. Sexual incompatibility is a thing and its nobody’s dault, but he also sounds selfish and nothing we say is gonna help you with that. You both deserve to be with somebody who youre a good fit for and is a good fit for you.
Here is the deal
If you don’t give him what he or she is looking for the will seek it out always.
My friendly suggestion is to move on.
Let him find what he is really looking for and you do the same.
Life is short and there is no sense in denying him or you of whatever you two are looking for in a partner.
You have no reason to take my advice, but I’ll say this to you.
If you were asked this same question In 15 years you would most likely say the same thing.
Good luck on your life journey my friend.
>My boyfriend is not really interested in pleasuring me,
I’m not going to tell you what to do. But I will tell you that if your own pleasure is improtant to you, and you would like a partner who is interested in pleasuring you, it is 100% acceptable to break up with this guy and seek out someone who is.
>he will say “I want to cum but I feel bad because you haven’t” which makes me respond with things like “don’t worry”
Ok, so now he’s saying that your pleasure is on his mind, but you dismiss his concerns?
You need to communicate with him. “OK, finish and then I can have my turn”. And then tell him what you want.
>But I really don’t like anal
So don’t do it. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.
>I don’t have a foot fetish but he always wants me to jerk him off with my feet and this makes me uncomfortable
Have you told him? Tell him you don’t want to do this, and to please stop asking.
>and I don’t know what to do anymore.
To be honest, I get the feeling you are not advocating for yourself. Are you? Have you communicated all this to him?
If you have and he keeps asking, if you’ve asked him and told him what to do to help you orgasm, but he just won’t… Then he’s a selfish guy and being a bad/selfish lover is a perfectly good reason to move on.
But if you haven’t tried talking to him, give him the benefit of the doubt and sit him down and tell him you aren’t happy about the things he’s asking for, and that you aren’t getting your turn. And maybe he’ll figure it out.
Maybe not.
But he’s not gonna get it on his own.
Sounds like you 2 are sexually Incompatible. You only really have 2 options. Either break up now and find better matches for each of you, or stay together and deal with his fetishes. You don’t want to do anything you don’t want to though. If you don’t want to give him a foot job, don’t do it just to make him happy. It’s your body, your choice.
Although, it does sound like he’s at least somewhat considerate of your pleasure, since he is saying that he feels bad that you haven’t came before he does
>During sex, he’s not bothered about my pleasure, only his own
Don’t waste time on selfish lovers.
>he will say “I want to cum but I feel bad because you haven’t” which makes me respond with things like “don’t worry”
On top of that, this is gaslighting.
Sexual incompatibility is one thing, but he has demonstrated that he does not care for you in bed. Since you get along outside the bedroom, this shows you can be friends, not lovers.
You aren’t compatible and he doesn’t give a fuck about pleasuring you. You can do better
I suggest you move on. It seems like your partner isn’t respecting your boundaries. Sometimes people are incompatible. In his case, especially if he doesn’t care about your pleasure, you would be best to get out of that relationship. At first read I had a fee red flags go up.
Find a new boyfriend
You guys are incompatible and he’s useless if he doesn’t wanna help you out but…
> which makes me respond with things like “don’t worry”
Why? Don’t say don’t worry. Advocate for yourself! Don’t say don’t worry, tell him to make you fun. On top of him not giving a shit about your pleasure, you are/have conditioned him not to give a shit
Before even getting into the fetishes, why are you with someone that you admit doesn’t care about pleasing you? Start there, and you’ll see how even considering participating in his fetishes (that you have no desire to) is just silly.