I need advice! I pegged my extremely masculine and normally dominant boyfriend last night and in the moment he LOVED IT but afterwards he felt super weird and emasculated (bordering on regretful). I tried to perform aftercare through cuddling but he needed physical space. How can I verbally affirm to him that he’s still “manly” and that I still see him as “masculine”? If anyone has experienced these weird feelings, what did your partner say to you afterwards that comforted you?
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Time and normalcy will help. Not sure what the Hangup is but if he wants you to know he’ll share
This is coming from a cis woman but he should know that even though experiencing pleasure through that method than from what he’s been used to isn’t and never will be a bad thing. It actually makes intimacy more interesting for both himself and you as his partner. Unfortunately there will be the whole stigma with the correlation between sexuality & pleasure so for him it will take some time to adjust to what he personally experienced. From what I can tell & heard from others, the prostate is just the equivalent to the gspot for which is another way to achieve pleasure. And the same goes for the A spot as well. It won’t change who he is overnight; if that was the case just about any woman who masturbates would be a lesbian going by that logic. But my point is is that he shouldn’t stress himself over such an experience. Instead of perceiving it as something potentially negative, view it as another way to bond with each other
I’m not sure what you can say to him, but there’s subs for pegging that maybe will have more help for you. I’m sure there’s men on those that had/have those same feelings.
Cis-het dude here. Prostates are fun, and nothing wrong with letting a lady have fun with yours.
It’s a lot like getting a blowjob. Your partner is doing something pleasurable to a very sensitive portion of your body.
If it’s the butt stuff aspect, it’s not gay if it’s a lady doing it. (Gay stuff is perfectly fine, but some straight guys aren’t ready to accept it into their bedroom. :D)
If it’s about butt stuff making him less of a manly man, that’s just pure toxic masculinity. It’s actually an unhealthy standard to expect to always be dominant and in charge of everything all the time. Also comparable to a good blowjob, you’re best off sitting back, relaxing, and letting your partner do their thing (certain exceptions notwithstanding).
It’ll mostly just take some time. So long as he’s ok with rejecting an unrealistic social standard, he’ll get over it. It does involve going against some very ingrained thought patterns, hence the time requirement.
Also, Ryan Reynolds says prostate exams are important. If he can let a doctor go in there for his health, surely he can let you go in there for fun. See also Deadpool.
[Rob and Ryan Lead From Behind](https://youtu.be/5sXkIUZEWIo)
As a man I live by the idea that a real man submits to his woman just as she is willing to do for him. If it helps you feel powerful or in control, just let him know that. Let him know that when he lets you take the wheel during sex it builds you up and makes you appreciate his loyalty to you even more. I don’t know him, but that’s what I would want to hear from my SO.
Just tell him it made you feel more emotionally connected to him and that seeing him that way made you realize how much you love/care for him.
Here’s an idea – rather than you aftercaring *him* to try to make him feel more like a man, have him aftercare (or even just do something manly for you) so that he once again feels like a man.
Could be spooning you, helping you with some advice, driving you somewhere, opening a jar, killing a spider, idk.
You pegged him so now your the dominate one tell him to sit down and do what you say
Bi guy here. Give him a bit of space at first. Then come at him super horny and ask him to fuck you. Best medicine there is. Get him to lose his shit and fuck the ever living he’ll out of you.
Give him space but also maybe tell him that most men aren’t confident in their own masculinity to even explore doing this and enjoying it. Also that you thought it was such a turn on and that you feel privileged for him to share this with you.
Exact same thing happened to me after the first time. There wasn’t any one thing that was said to help me. It was just a matter of time and seeing that she still was attracted to me. Now we peg all the time.
So just allow him time and continue to be supportive and ensure him that you find him attractive. Maybe do a little extra traditional sex for a while to really drive it home.