So I recently started dating a guy im really into. I met him outside (at the restaurant where he worked) and we exchanged numbers.
I was actually the one who texted him first, not asking him out, just following up on something we talked about when we met. He then straight in asked me if I wanted to go out for drinks and then we arranged to meet based on my availability. As the date was almost one week away, we didn’t really chat until the previous date to confirm location.
Fast forward to the date, it went incredible, lasted about 7 hours, got lost talking etc terrific chemistry and the lot. He then tells me he will call me soon to which I was sceptical. Next day he texts me to say he had a really great time and asking me when he can meet me again. We scheduled the next date, and in between again no communication other than the previous day.
Now past the second date, which also went incredible btw, it’s again the same scenario, not really communication unless it’s to set the next date.
He did tell me in person that he doesn’t like small talk, so I’m not sure if that has to do with it.
Have you had relationships or experiences with similar texting habits and should this be worrying/indicating of how much he’s interested?
Thanks!
13 comments
Not an issue imo, some people don’t like texting
Nope. I make it a rule not to text. Builds a better connection. Means the time I spend with you is deliberate. That you got lots of stuff you’ve been doing, and so have I. Then we have lots to talk about.
I don’t spoil our special time together by sharing every detail as it happens. I trust that you have a life, and that I have mine. I want someone that is an individual and we just mesh together. You got something to give and so do I.
Plus its way more exciting building up to that next date. You have my full attention.
Him setting up the dates and the dates going well is fine. Not everyone is into texting to chit chat
I do find it a bit strange when it happens to me but it did make me value the dates more as this was the only way to get to know her better. Plus you never run out of conversation.
Lol the fact the you’re thinking about the situation and him… it’s probably exactly what he wants if he’s the smooth operator I think he is.
Don’t worry about “outside” communication being sparse. Only worry if you get bored with in person communication, or don’t see each other for a long while.
Have fun.
Many would say this is how it should be. Keeps you interested. And it’s working.
If this makes you feel insecure in the relationship, I’d ask him to drop you a line every once in awhile, maybe even a routine “good morning” every day or something. If he’s into you, he may want to do this, knowing it will have a positive effect on you and he will be valued for it
Yes, especially if you require communication in the form of text.
He is smart, when you text, jokes can be taken the wrong way if you don’t really know someone.
I’m someone who absolutely hates texting so I understand. Especially with a new person it just feels like overly forced small talk constantly over text. I rather save everything I have to say for in person, it’s just so much more genuine and there’s always so much more to talk about. The best dates I’ve had have been with guys I rarely text in between. I really wouldn’t worry about it. But if it ends up being too much of a toll on your mental health or don’t see yourself dating someone you can’t have constant contact with I would reconsider or maybe have a conversation with him about it if you end up being more serious.
I think this is actually great. Have you ever experienced the opposite?! So frustrating when a guy ONLY wants to text small talk, and never EVER makes plans for a date.
Some people really don’t like to text, at least not in the beginning of a new relationship. A lot can be misread/misconstrued and you’re better off just getting to know each other in person.
I’d say that the fact that he’s following up after dates to make a plan for another one is a great sign. I’d focus more on that. And the amazing chemistry you two seem to have.
Good luck!
Sometimes older men are like this. Maybe he feels like your in-person interactions are so outstanding that texting could never top that. Some people prefer in-person to digital stuff (I’m not one of them but everyone’s different). I wouldn’t worry especially because he keeps asking to see you.
This situation is happening to me right now. The guy I’m seeing isn’t much of a texter which is fine. We send maybe 3 texts a day?
That’s totally fine with me. I don’t love texting and it’s easier to move on if it doesn’t work out. I find that texting people nonstop makes it harder to move on and forget about them. This feels a lot healthier tbh