A tonne of us start out in the world thinking that having people like you is always in our control. “If I say the right thing, act the right way, I can make them like me.” Then we go out there and try our absolute hardest to win over everybody… but we find no matter what we do, _some people still aren’t into us._
The stubborn people double down even harder, wasting unnecessary time and energy, in an effort to try and win over 100% of people (which is impossible). The smart people realise _that socialising,_ making friends_, and dating is just a numbers game_ – some people will like you, some won’t, so the only way to surround yourself with lots of amazing people is to talk to a lot of new people.
**It’s like sales.** You’re not trying to win over every person; you’re just looking for _one_ buyer. Seeing if you get along with someone is basically saying: _“Here’s what I have to offer. Do you like what I’m offering? If you do, we’ll keep in touch. If not, no worries.”_
You can’t MAKE someone want what you’re offering. **They either want it or they don’t.** A particular people will either like you, or she won’t. You should obviously _put in lots of effort_ and _try your hardest_ to put your best foot forward, but if after you’ve done your best and they still aren’t interested, you need to know when to move on and seek out new people. You aren’t going to be best mates with everyone you ever meet. Just find the ones who click with you.
**Not everyone on this planet is going to like you.** Don’t worry about the people who don’t gel with you – focus your energy on finding the ones you _do_ click with. You can’t force everyone to like you – but I promise, there’s plenty of people out there who’ll think you’re bloody awesome.
\-Andy
3 comments
Thanks Andy! Turns out I’m not smart.
I’m in marketing and this analogy makes so much sense, wish i had thought of this. Will use this next time .
Yea
I made the same point about red-pill advice regarding women, but it’s also applicable here. People are not NPCs programmed to respond to certain inputs, which lead to certain endings, as specified in some game guide.
Any time you think about other people in a way that vilifies someone for not liking you, you’re dehumanizing them. Stripping them of their right to determine who they let into their lives, and who they don’t want to associate with. The entitlement involved in this mindset is baffling, and makes you come off like an angry toddler– a person who can’t be reasoned with because their brain isn’t developed yet.
Rejection stings. But that doesn’t make the person who rejected you *bad* or *mean*.