My bf was accusing me of liking some guy. Which wasnt true. I told him to leave my apartment because it was getting heated snd I was sitting on the bed, he comes up to me and grabs my wrists and restrains me on the bed screaming. I didnt know what he was going to do so I closed my eyes. He got off me and walked out and said he couldnt believe he did that. He said he was going to kill himself and left. I was crying. I called him nd said forget it and went to bed. Why would he do that? What does that mean. Is it a power thing?
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It’s called abuse.
You should leave at the first sign of it. It’ll get worse.
He did because he’s abusive.
Grabbing and restraining you is abuse.
Threatening to kill himself is also abuse.
Some times when you get TOO mad. You punch a wall or break something.
But for him to do that to another person… It’s just wrong. Abusive.
Than saying he’ll kill himself… because he think you like someone..
It’s going to be an abusive and controlling relationship in the long run…
What part of this sounds healthy or reasonable to you?
Because he made the choice to control you with aggressive behavior. There’s no big mysterious answer. He chose to behave abusively.
Take this as what it is. A giant huge red flag. He will probably next get apologetic and swear it will never happen again. Then he will be really nice for a while… But it’ll happen again and you’ll cycle through this. Leave this relationship now, don’t fall for it.
Curious of y’all ls age, not that it matters. Your loved ones wouldn’t let someone to do this to you, you shouldn’t either. There is no excuse for this behavior and it isn’t your fault he did this. Safe to say you should let this guy go. Be safe.
Break up with him, but if you still care for him ask him to enrol in an anger management programme so he can get to the bottom of this bad behaviour. If he does not address this as early as possible it could become even more toxic, plus we don’t want him to just take that behaviour to his next relationship.
Even if he’s not hitting you he still used physical force. It’s only going to get worse from here. Leave while you still can.
It’s abuse and it’s manipulative. Not only did he physically abuse you but leaving saying he was going to kill himself is emotional abuse.
You should certainly leave him.
Please take our advice and leave him also breakup in a public place or over text and have a friend give his items back
It’s a power thing, controlling thing, and abuse thing. And him saying he’s going to off himself is a manipulation thing. Leave before it gets worse. Call his family and tell them he’s threatening self-harm, and let them deal with him, or if they are too far away, call for a welfare check. Don’t let him guilt you into staying.
It’s straight up abuse. Do not see him ever again.
OP, like the rest have said here, you’re in an abusive relationship. The violence and abuse will only escalate. “Why”? Some people grow up wrong, and we can’t change that. Your safety is first priority. Look into staying with a trusted family or friend, and then look into therapy. They will help you recognize the ways he has been manipulating you and hurting you.
A big reason why people continue to be abused, is because kind people don’t understand why they’re being abused. It doesn’t make sense. So the mind thinks “oh, i mustve done something wrong, because otherwise this doesn’t make sense.”
You haven’t done anything wrong. There is NEVER a good enough reason for ANYONE to lay hands on you and treat you so badly. A lot of abusers have sad back stories, and use that as a manipulation tactic.
We cannot “save” or change anyone. It is up to a person themselves if they’d like to change. But that is NOT your responsibility.
This is a great resource for women in your situation and offers womens shelter resources as well.
https://www.thehotline.org/
Leave when he isn’t home. Do NOT tell him you are leaving. Pack your important documents, ID,passport, cards. Then you need to text him, “how you’ve treated me is not okay. You have physically and emotionally threatened me and I don’t deserve this. We are done. Please get help, do not contact me.”
Then you block him on every platform you have, go private, change phone numbers if need be.
You got this.
You shouldn’t stand for that
That’s violence. He was violent with you. If you stay in this relationship he is highly likely to do it again.
Break it off and make sure you have a secure place to be in case he responds violently
hes an abuser, get out while u still can and get a restraining order on him. normal people don’t do that.
He is an abuser!!
He abused you. For your safety, dump him.
He was going to hit you or worse it sounds like before trying to blame you for his suicide choice?
Because he is an abuser. Physically and psychologically.
Leave him… It gets worse
It is the first step to so much worse. Break up with him before it gets any worse
It means he’s an abusive scumbag. Run
It means your boyfriend is abusive and damn near lost all control of himself. Please make a plan and get out of that relationship. If you have to wait till he goes to work or sleep and walk out. While he’s gone I’d be grabbing all important documents and paperwork and putting it into the car and then going after electronics and clothes.
Don’t stay op. Get out for your safety and go stay with anyone else. I’d you own thr place then pack his shit and put it on the porch or doorstep. Change your locks and don’t let him back inside for love nor money.
Block him on everything and change your phone number if you have to. Get away from him before he does it again and this time actually hurts you.
I’d he tries the suicidal route with you just call the police for a welfare check. Don’t engage and don’t stick around.
He assaulted you and then tried to make you feel bad for it by saying a bullshit comment like he’s going to go kill himself. Ask him why he’s going to do that. Make him admit what he did and why.
🚩🚩🚩
Uh, yes, it’s a power thing. And abuse. You are not safe with him.
The OP’s post history is heartbreaking.
And some idiot in one of her other posts actually downplayed a trauma her boyfriend caused her.
The idiot was rightfully downvoted, but not *nearly* enough.