I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years. I love him and I want to think he loves me back but it’s becoming more obvious to me that he only enjoys showing me off to others.
I don’t want to toot my own horn but other ppl have said to us that I am out of his league. I think these sort of comments are disrespectful because I think my boyfriend is very attractive and I love him.
However, I noticed more and more the way he tells me to do my make up or wear more revealing clothing whenever we go out and there’s friends or other ppl around. Whenever he talks to his friends about me (I have seen text conversations) he only tells them about my body.
He keeps telling me I need to go to the gym more to get my ass bigger while also saying claiming my body is better than any of his friends’ girlfriends.
It makes me uncomfortable and it’s just not flattering. Don’t really know what advice I’m looking for, just wanted to vent about this issues
14 comments
He loves your body, not you. You know what to do.
People are right, you are out of his league. He sounds immature and shallow and is emotionally no where near your league. You deserve a lot better than that. You deserve someone who only cares about your appearance if they think you look unhealthy or sick. Not as some item.
You need to talk to him about how these things make you feel AND ask him to stop doing them. If he doesn’t stop doing them then he does respect you or care about your feelings. If he doesn’t respect you or care about your feelings, you should break up with him.
He is very immature and you need to cut him loose. He can’t see past your exterior beauty and look at your inner beauty.
Ppl are right, however, the bigger problem is this guys absolute narcissism… “you need to make your butt bigger” and asking you to wear revealing clothing?. He is trying to polish you. What he’s doing is no different than putting a “yo, sick spoiler” on his car… he sounds just like guys sound these days!
What do you think he’d do if you went out in a totally blah outfit. Think sweatpants and a baggy sweatshirt. With regular shoes? No makeup. Just a basic look.
My ex husband used to harp on my about my look. I had a very physically demanding job as a chef on a line that did 500 covers and hour. On my days off I wanted to just look basic. Jeans and a tee. And he’d bug me to wear makeup.
One time we were just going shopping and he was bitching at me about my makeup. So I drew a cat nose and whiskers on my face in the parking lot. Dude never talked to me about my makeup again.
He was soo insecure.
My current spouse would make suggestions on his it cool look better and what could I wear to make it a whole lewk.
I don’t think he loves you in a healthy way.
Yuck, he’s not a good partner, it’s one thing to be proud of your gf and even like others finding her hot, it’s another thing to objectify you the way he does. Have you told him how you feel about it?
Ewwww sorry OP but your bf only sees you as an object. Men like this can very rarely understand where they’re going wrong. Dump his arse. You are out of his league, but for other reasons than physical.
You sound confident and mature. Your bf sounds shallow and insecure. It’s not for him to objectify you as an object to be admired. There is so much more to you as a person and you deserve someone who understand that.
Your boyfriend let the comments get to his head way too much and now only views u as a trophy. So now he is wanting to make sure everyone sees his “shining trophy” that itself is incredibly disrespectful of not only the relationship but also ur value.
U can tell him to knock it off that u are a human being, worth more than just tits & ass or u can tell him to go find a new trophy.
He doesn’t love or respect you.
You deserve better than this.
What would happen, heaven forbid, if you became ill with some chronic, irreversible condition that made it impossible for you to go to the gym and maintain the “trophy” appearance? Would he stay by your side, support you emotionally, and put your needs above his, and for the long haul?
Your bf seems to objectify your body a bit much based on how you have described it. That is not cool, specially if it’s making you uncomfortable. You should tell him exactly that.
However… Let me start a controversy here.
You are out of his league just because you are more attractive? What about other things like education, creativity, sexual performance, kindness, motivation to grow, earning potential etc etc? Do they have a meaning? How do you size him up on these scales?
He is shallow and yes, you’re out of his league and not for your looks.