Reddit, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m a 24F and I can’t seem to make friends in this new city I moved to after college. I have lived here for a year and so far I’ve made only one friend who I see only occasionally. I have tried various avenues such as Facebook social groups, Bumble BFF, and attending classes (yoga and dance classes). I’m not sure if it’s just me or if it just takes a really long time to make friends as an adult. Pretty much no one responds to me on Bumble when we match. I always send the first message or reply if they message me. And even if we do end up meeting up, I end up getting ghosted.
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I’ll be honest, I am a little bit eccentric, I don’t drink alcohol, and I might be on the autism spectrum so that could be it. I’m definitely not a girly girl. But still, I don’t really think I do anything that weird. I think I’m a decently interesting, normal, and nice person all things considered. I’m open to the idea that I am doing something wrong to turn people away, but I have no idea how to figure it out. If anyone has any advice on figuring this type of thing out, I’m all ears. Or perhaps, this is a really common experience and there isn’t anything wrong with me?
2 comments
I feel the same way, and I’m a lot like you. I don’t like parties or drinking, and that’s unfortunately what a lot of people our age like to do for fun. I always blame it on my ADHD😅
I dont mean to discourage, but I’ve been living in a “new” city for the past 15 years, and I still don’t have friends that I can truly consider as my closest friends. Just a long list of acquaintances that I met over the years.
You just need to keep trying and keeping your expectations low. Eventually, you’ll either find people that you connect with, or you will get a better sense of what you need to do to find the social circle that you want.
100% there isn’t anything wrong with you, unless you say overtly inappropriate things upon first impression (e.g. insulting people, saying delusional things that indicate severe mental illness, threatening violence, etc).