A few weeks ago my gf (at the time) invited me to come to church with her. I’m not a church person, but out of respect and love for my gf, I agreed to go. For religious reasons, my gf often felt guilty whenever we were done having sex. I never really understood her religion, but I didn’t pressure her to become sexually active. She was the one who initiated sex most of the time, even though she would up begging God for forgiveness afterwards and promising never to sin again. She prayed a lot and we sinned a lot. I enjoyed our sex life and so did she. At some point, she stopped praying after sex, which made me think she was finally learning to accept that it was natural to be sexual. However, I didn’t realize the extent of her guilt until that morning in church when the pastor approached my gf and I after the service and asked us to meet with him in private.
During the meeting with the pastor, he revealed that my gf requested to see him and she wanted me to be present. I was completely blindsided. The pastor said that my gf confessed to what we have done behind closed doors and explained that she wanted him to pray for both us at that moment, so that we could fight our sexual urges. I reluctantly agreed to the prayer, which made my gf smile and hold my hand. The pastor asked us to close our eyes before proceeding to pray. It was a long prayer. He knew more than enough details about our relationship and our sex life. It was embarrassing and infuriating. When we were done at church, I broke up with my gf. It was painful for both of us, but the pastor situation was too much for me. I could no longer compete in the bedroom with God.
Yesterday my ex gf reached out to me after 2 weeks of zero communication. She said she had a new hairstyle – pigtails. I knew what that meant. When we were still together, I used to joke about wanting her to get pigtails on each side so I could pull on them during doggy style. The new hairstyle is an invitation. I’m not sure if I should accept or decline. The part of me that is thinking with my dick definitely wants to fuck her again, but the other part of me is thinking about her religious baggage. To those of you who are or have been in my shoes, what would your advice be to someone like me?
24 comments
Find out her thoughts on sex now. Like with religion. Is she going to keep going the same way she was with praying afterwards and all that. Or has she come to realise it’s natural.
I would run. Very manipulative to open private stuff to the pastor without your consent.
Dude you’re so ahead right now. You stood your ground when she crossed the line and that’s why she’s trying to entice you back with sex right now. If you could have sex and still walk away then sure, but while you’re up just walk away and find a better person to spend your life with. She’s already a “devote Christian” and her beliefs were slowly seeping into your life, it’ll only get worse if you rebound back into it.
God help you my son !
The only thing religion ( not God ) is good at is starting wars, mass murders, and fucking with people’s minds!
My advice is don’t go back. Her religious beliefs would not have changed in the last two weeks. You’ll be straight back into the same problems again.
You can definitely fuck her again without wanting to have a relationship
Just be clear with her
I don’t need a Bible thumping douchebag asking for forgiveness everytime we have sex. Fuck right off crazy person.
To quote Tim Minchin, “You’re lovely but there must be girls as lovely as you and maybe more open to spanking”
Run away and as painful as it may be…….,Run away fast
So you took the fall for the love of your life. It happens
Consider sitting down and having a conversation with her. Non-aggressively probe and see if she sees anything wrong with what she did, and gently let her know that what she did was a violation of your trust and privacy. If she doesn’t apologize at that point or admit wrongdoing, that will tell you something. If she tries to defend herself or explain her religion makes it okay, that will tell you something else. It’s up to you what you take from it. But it seems important to you to factor everything in, not just what your libido is telling you. So I would also suggest taking sex off the table as a possibility for that entire night.
Bottom line is, you have to decide what your hard and soft boundaries are moving forward. If she won’t respect them or keeps pushing them, she will continue that pattern for the rest of the relationship. So your goal for this conversation is to set those boundaries and do some groundwork into determining whether or not she’ll respect that moving forward, and admit that what she did was wrong to begin the healing between you two.
out out out out get out get out run leave escape nO NO NO NO
Corrupt her, get her into bondage and anal and submission. Stand your ground, be in control. Clearly she can’t go 2 weeks without your cock, you have the upper hand. Sit her down and explain to her what the deal is, the church shit isn’t gonna fly anymore and that she deserves a punishment for it. Bend her over and smack her ass, call her a lying little slut, she’ll probably cream her panties. Just a thought…
I’ve dated a religious woman before and I think you should stay away. Just my opinion.
Think with the head on your shoulders, not between your legs
She has a LOT of issues surrounding her relationship with sex and she’s making it your problem. She tells intimate details about your sex life with a pastor, do you want that happening again? She is doing this pigtail thing explicitly to get you back, no one changes like that overnight. And if you had sex with her knowing she wanted to get back together with you but you just wanted sex from her…that would be a dick move on your part.
I sincerely hope she finds a healthier relationship with her own sexuality but that’s her battle not yours.
Move on
For god’s sake, help her to find the good religion!
Wow. That’s some wild shit. I would definitely be pissed about getting ambushed. You were totally right to break it off.
I’d also totally want to smash that though if it was a fantasy. But she’s trying to get her hooks in you with that play. If you want to smash you should be totally up front and call her on what she’s doing with the pigtails. Something like “I know what you’re doing with the pigtails. You know it’s a fantasy of mine. So what will happen? We’ll have sex again and then you’ll go straight to your pastor?” She may feel bad for ambushing you. But she needs to decide what life she wants. I imagine there is a lot of pressure from her parents as well being in the same church?
If that’s the case she’s going to have a hard time leaving the church if she’s still living at home or being supported by them for college or something. But she seems to be lying to herself if she thinks she doesn’t want sex in her life. Repression is never healthy for your mental state or the ones close to you.
Know what happens if you accept her invitation? She’ll end up praying and trying to get you to pray with her
Nah. Thanks but no thanks. She’s probably also gossiping with friends about intimate things too because she doesn’t know when to keep her mouth shut. Honestly you should tell her exactly that. Text back, “Sorry, but we’re not getting back together. I had a lot of fun but you completely broke my trust by airing out our relationship with your pastor who I don’t even know. I’m sure you’ll ‘never do it again’ but I’d rather you never do it again with someone else. I think you need to deal with your feelings of guilt regarding sex as well. See you around.”
Nope
Only have sex with this girl if you want her to be pregnant.
She’s deeply religious; she definitely wants to be pregnant
Your ex has been brainwashed by a cult (all religion is a cult IMO) and you don’t have a magical penis that will undo all that indoctrination. Two weeks are not enough time. If you have sex with her, you will fall back into the relationship and she will keep trying to pull you into her faith. It’s your choice whay to do, but if ibwere you I’d walk away from it and find someone who is sex-positive. Guilty sex will never be as fun.
I’m even religious and wouldn’t touch that again with a 10’ pole. What she did, was pretty excessive imo.