I was with a guy for about 6 months (not in a serious relationship). We stopped talking for 2 months and I thought having sex with someone else will help me to forget about him.
So, I had sex (with protection) with a guy (he didn’t gave me oral). About a month later we had sex again(unprotected and gave me oral too). 5 days later I got blisters and finally I got diagnosed with GHSV1.
I was angry with him so I stopped our communication.
For 3 months now I’m in a serious relationship with the previous boy. I like him a lot and I know he likes me too. Although I didn’t tell him anything about HSV. We always use condom and when it’s needed I take antivirals too.
I want to tell him the truth about the fact that if we do unprotected sex – even if there are no blisters at the moment – there is a possibility for him to contract the virus. But to be honest… I’m afraid.
Would you accept being with a girl/guy that you would learn that has genital herpes ?
4 comments
> Would you accept being with a girl/guy that you would learn that has genital herpes?
Yup. But you definitely should have told your partner. And you definitely should have told the person who gave it to you, that they gave it to you.
I personally would not as oral is a big part of sex for me and I would never feel okay with that. I know HSV+ and HSV- couples exist without problem but I couldn’t do it.
I’m truly sorry to hear about this happening to you.
That said, and this is my belief at least, you should absolutely tell him. Also don’t let it get down to the wire before you bring it up. If you guys are a second from going wild, that’s not the time and will be worse than if you pull him aside and with a “I need to talk to you.”
While treatments exist today it still has no cure and it can affect people outside of “sometimes I get blisters” which in this instance is 100% a choice he should have a say in.
You should definitely tell him. But since it’s HSV-1 there is some good news. My wife has HSV-1 genitally, and she did tell me before we had sex for the first time. I was so into her that I took the risk, even though I was very afraid of catching it. 20 years of unprotected sex later, I still haven’t caught it. She’s never had an outbreak in all that time.
I read that this is typical of genital HSV-1 infections. While HSV-2 can cause regular outbreaks for many years, HSV-1 tends to go dormant after a year or so and may never return.
I’m not a doctor and I’m not saying there’s no risk, but from what I’ve read and from my own experience, the risk is much lower with HSV-1.
Ask him to take the HSV1 test.
If he already has it, there is no need to worry.
If he doesn’t have it, just be rigorous with your suppression and it will prevent him from getting it. (I have done this for over 11y with my wife).