What are some of the green flags you look for in a woman?

I recently saw this topic brought up in a podcast but about green flags women look for in men, and it made me curious about the other perspective. Thanks!

40 comments

  1. Probably things you don’t already do for guys unless you TRULY like them.

    Like consistency, going dutch on dates (to prove your investment in the guy), making suggestions for meet ups, giving compliments and not being passive.

    If you like a guy enough, you will be full of these green flags. If you like a guy who has many options and you’re not his best one or worth keeping for a relationship, it won’t matter if you do these things. He will overlook you.

  2. For me it’s when they’re genuinely themselves, treat people well, they’re not caught up in the superficial, and they have passions or interests.

  3. Funny, not entitled, no double standards towards any topic
    Edit: funny means that if she can laugh on my jokes and reply, dont have to be actively entertaining

  4. Confident, intelligent, adventurous, empathetic, thoughtful, kind, shares my goals/values, not materialistic, can make me laugh, likes animals and children.

  6. They are honest, they communicate, they ask questions… I forget the rest of them it’s been a while since I made it that far.

  7. Green flags generally for me are a woman who is her own self. Not be afraid of others opinions, okay with being weird and quirky. Emotionally intelligent and knows how to communicate and say what’s on her mind. Not materialistic or superficial. Puts just as much effort into binding and building the relationship as I do. She needs to have a kind and pure heart, be considerate and respectful. Has morals and goals. She needs to be passionate about something and have some drive/motivation and dedication to something like a hobby or work, as well as towards our relationship. Sexually mature and confident. I don’t expect her to make as much as me (if she does or makes more that is fine) but I do expect her to have stable and consistent income. She needs to be outgoing and social, open minded with a little curiosity for adventure and learning new things. She doesn’t need to be a gym freak or fit, but I’d like her be physically active in someway of hobbies or activities.

    This is ideal and don’t expect to find such in full.

  8. Communicates. Transparent and honest.

    Reciprocates genuine interest. This includes initiating contact and dates. Wants to get to know me.

    Adventurous. Whether bicycling, roller blading/skating, skiing/snowboarding, hiking, swimming.

    Affectionate. Comfortable receiving and freely giving.

  10. Good at communicating, people would be surprised at how important that is in a relationship

  11. Wanting to pay for me on dates.

    So, I want to pay for my partner because I think it’s super sweet. If she also wants to pay for me, I think that’s super sweet! We then end up taking turns or splitting the bills, and that’s just awesome. It’s two people who want to do the best by their partner and I love that.

  13. * Great Communicator – able to talk about needs and boundaries openly, discuss serious matters without arguing/avoidance
    * Affectionate / Femininity / Kindness are big pluses for me
    * Doesn’t play games / tests / etc. Openly shows interest and reciprocates
    * Puts equal effort into the relationship
    * Not absorbed into social media (huge)
    * Doesn’t have a lot of baggage from previous relationships, or is in therapy/etc. One of the roughest things to deal with is having all of her ex’s problems projected onto you.

    Things I don’t care about:

    * Job / Education, as long as they are doing something with their life
    * Financial Status
    * Looks, as long as they keep themselves well groomed it can be attractive
    * Clinginess (I’ve had girlfriends constantly worry that they are ‘too clingy’, and I seriously wonder what their previous boyfriends said to them…)

  14. willing to actually split or offer to split on the first date not fake split.
    Kind to people
    not entitled
    empathetic
    honest communication (if they arent into you or if they are what they like in terms of affection)

  15. 1. Kind to people when doing so doesn’t really help her directly (sincerity)
    2. Responds to texts and messages with decent depth and in a relatively timely manner. If I text her something funny about my morning and she responds “Heh” and leaves it at that, not good. If she responds with more interaction and something about her morning, that’s a huge green flag. Doesn’t have to be right away, but if it’s 7PM, and she’s been home from work for an hour or two and still nothing?
    3. Relatively healthy and active. Doesn’t have to be an all star athlete or a bikini model, but if she has some activity that she likes to do that keeps her relatively healthy, that’s a green flag.
    4. She has to be nice to me. I guess that’s a given for most people, but man, I’ve dated some women who were generally nice, but could be really cruel or petty at times. Everyone has bad days, and that’s normal, but someone who has the mental and emotional stability to stay kind when things are hard, that’s gold.
    5. Willing to communicate about the relationship. Speak up if she’s frustrated and be okay with having discussions about what we can do to be better to each other.

  16. – Can’t stress this enough. Great communicator. They don’t expect me to be a mind reader then breakdown or punish me in some way when I can’t do it

    – They don’t act like my ego is the third person in the relationship that they need to coddle or tip-toe around.

    – They don’t pretend to be interested in what I’m interested only to drop the act when they’re angry or get exhausted

    – Having mental health issues is totally fine. Who doesn’t in some way big or small? But never using them as a crutch for being shitty is a huge green flag imo

    – It’s always great if they have their own sense of humour. No need to be laugh out loud hilarious but it’s great seeing their own funny side of things

    – They’re their own person, but not in a constant need to prove it kind of way. They just are and they don’t try to hide it by being what they think I want or expect

  17. Green flag’s in women’s

    – She has FRIENDS, In fact, if a person does not have friends, they will most likely want to dedicate everything to you, so she wants the same from you And that will definitely bring problems.

    – She has emotional intelligence and affective responsibility, remember that as one has his private life, our partner also and that is not a bad thing, we should not be open books.

  19. – Having the ability to verbalize their emotions clearly and having ownership of what they say/do is important.

    – Being an open book when prompted in the taking phase. It indicates a person has made peace with their past or at least acknowledges things that influence their present beliefs.

    – Acknowledging different sides of views/opinions shows empathy.

    – Not using a difference of opinion as a justification to treat a person poorly. Bullying your “enemies” is still bullying imo.

    – They don’t lean on external validation especially from strangers.

  20. When they are genuinely nice to others and stand up for those.
    I don’t really care how you look, if you have a nice personality, you got me on the hook.

    A bonus is if she is someone who is comfortable also standing up for herself. I am not looking for a dog, but for someone I can spend time with. This just makes it so much easier to have serious discussions on an equal level.

  21. A nice green flag is if she has a few hobbies that she really enjoys and extends an offer for me to learn about them or get involved somehow.

  22. Applies to both genders:

    1. When they admit, they’re wrong when they’re wrong. But also stand their ground when they’re right.
    2. Apologies and gratitude wherever appropriate.
    3. When they don’t judge and treat people differently based on their appearance.
    4. When they don’t consider themselves to be socially superior to those that are less fortunate.
    5. When they don’t feel entitled to other people’s money.
    6. Absence of most common red flags.

  24. Good Communicator, self aware, honest, humble, likes to learn, good hygiene, strong willed, independent, able to face failure, can handle disagreements, and financially responsible to name a few

  25. Here are some really important green flags for me:

    – They have hobbies that they do for enjoyment, not for clout or cool points.

    – If they have pet(s), their animals are trained, well-behaved, and obedient. (This has been rare in my experience.)

    – They’re close with family, but not so much so that their family has too much influence in major life decisions.

    – They don’t have it all figured out but will actively go after the things that they want.

  26. When they don’t turn apeshit because you didn’t reply fast enough. Or any time they don’t display high levels of insecurity.

  27. Not flaking on dates is one for me.

    At one point I thought I should change my name to Tony The Tiger because all I found were Frosted Flakes.

  29. The biggest green flag is the ability to communicate. Followed by honesty. You cand build everything from there. That’s just my humble opinion, based on my own experience.

  30. * Good sense of humor, can be goofy.
    * Intelligence, and a curiosity about *everything.* Someone who always wants to learn new things is generally pretty interesting to be around.
    * Kindness, patience, and has a calm personality.
    * Makes an effort to reach out. Will be the one to text, email, phone, or otherwise contact at times, even if only to share things they saw they think I may be interested in. Will propose activities for us to do at times rather than me always having to.
    * Good communicator, says what she thinks (not in a rude way), and doesn’t leave me guessing about how she’s feeling.
    * Doesn’t subscribe to traditional gender expectations. For example if she expects X of me because I’m a man (like paying for everything) that is a massive turn-off and source of incompatible values and worldviews. If there’s no splitting or covering our own bills I’m going to assume the rest of the relationship would be similarly unequal.
    * Takes care of herself physically. I eat healthily and am quite active, so I’d want a partner who enjoys doing the same and who wants to do outdoor physical activities.
    * Is capable of regulating herself and handling her own issues. Isn’t clingy, needy, or having blow ups. We should support one another, but shouldn’t have to be emotionally dependent upon one another.
    * Is financially stable and supports herself. I don’t care what she does for a living, but I wouldn’t want a partner whose parents are paying for their life, or living off credit cards, or buried in constant debt.
    * Doesn’t want/have children. It took me a while to figure out but I don’t want children.
    * Isn’t materialistic. Having 30 pairs of shoes, expensive handbags, only wears designer clothes etc… that doesn’t impress me and feels like a personal value clash.
    * Loves nature, animals, and is an environmentalist at heart. A real hippy 🙂
    * Has some sort of creative pursuit, whether it be painting, drawing, writing, sewing, etc.
    * Is constantly striving to be better, no matter what area that is. Basically just having goals that she’s working towards.

    Those are the areas I look at when considering whether I’m interested in someone.

  32. 1.when you can see their guard lower and they become their beautiful self
    2.if she has a want to make plans
    3.if she doesn’t care about the little things but when they’re done you can see the joy in their face .
    4. They don’t sh*t talk their exs no man wants to hear about your ex

  33. If they put effort into getting to know me. I find that most women I meet almost expect me to entertain them and jump through hoops to prove my worth. Instead of deciding my worth based on getting to know me.

    They’re up front with what they want. If they want a relationship, cool, that’s what I’m looking for. If they’re not looking for something serious but tell me, cool, we’re not the right people for eachother but we saved eachother time.

    If a woman earns everything she’s got. She pays her bills, is career focused, and owns her stuff. I’ve met a lot of women who have everything paid for by family. Getting gifts or stuff given isn’t a red flag by any means, but I find that women who earned everything they own tend to be more compassionate and enjoyable to be around.

    Not having a huge social media presence. I don’t care if somebody has social media, but I can’t stand people (not just women) who are absolutely absorbed by social media.

  35. Good job in a field that is respected and something she enjoys and gets fulfillment out of.

  36. * Offer to pay for your half when the bill comes.
    * Be able to have and hold a conversation without you being the one to have to keep it going all the time.
    * Ask questions and demonstrate interest.
    * Treat service staff well and with respect.
    * Natural look, no excessive makeup/push-up bra/spanx/etc.

  37. If a person acts like they wanna have a conversation. You don’t need to be ms. Confidence with hella game, but if you put yourself in a spot to start talking; I’ll match the energy. Don’t rely on me assuming you wanna talk if you’re avoiding eye contact, not saying anything, etc.

    Personally, I’m very anxious meeting people but shine after getting past that. Maybe hypocritical, but if I meet someone that’ll work past that awkward part (even on some false confidence) green flag

  38. – Good communicator who doesn’t play silly mind games.

    – Honest

    – Mentions the green flags they look for rather than focusing on the negative red flags.

  39. When they recognise when I need *me* time and don’t take that as a threat to their position

  40. They show interest in me and are willing to carry on a conversation. They are polite to wait staff/ cashiers and other workers in stores.

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