What is your toxic trait as a partner (that you are aware of)?

28 comments

1. I mean I get where you’re coming from.

   I love my best friend and have strong feelings for her but I don’t want her romantically at all.

2. I’m too possessive. I know it and try to tone it down, by trusting her a bit more. If she betrays that trust though, I will be way more than toxic.

3. i get jealous way too easy

   if she even talks to another guy some intense feelings of jealousy bubble up inside me. obviously i know it’s not a good thing to feel so i keep it down but i would very much like to not feel jealous at all

4. I can be moody, like I let small things affect my disposition more than they should

5. I tend to get really distant and isolated when I get busy with school or work, sometimes for multiple weeks at a time.

6. Dude. It’s not childish.

   90% of the time that guy is her “best friend” because he’s hoping to date or fuck her. Unless he’s gay, of course. Then it’s a blessing that she has a guy best friend.

7. I am indecisive, and apparently not being a big fan of traveling often is not a desirable trait.

8. I have a difficult time saying something that will hurt her feelings. I have to force myself to start the conversation because I know it’s not healthy for a relationship to let problems fester. Example, I dated a women that started coming over to my apartment every night after our first date. I told her that I had been a bachelor for a long time and it probably isn’t the best idea to come over every day. She understood and agreed but she continued anyway and eventually it ended the relationship.

9. I can detach emotionally extremely quick

10. As a sales person, I spend a lot of time reading body language and I can tell if something or someone is interested etc.

    I can usually guess a persons intent or see if someones trust worthy fairly quickly. Unfortunately in my past i would point things out to exs that made them uncomfortable and would cause rifts.

    With my current relationship, i instead said “youll find out very quickly if a guy cares about you as a friend or is going to put you in positions to make a choice you shouldnt have to make based on their intent, thats how you will find out whose really your friend.”

    I was referencing the manager of a bar she worked at, who refused to make eye contact with me and gave her a judgement about me that was quite over the top considering he hadn’t spoke to me at all even when seated right in front of him. He started messaging her good morning at 6:00am and calling her beautiful. She promptly cut him off and no longer works there. t helps her friends made that assessment before i suggested it. Found out in hindsight what her other friends told her.

    Its toxic, because balancing truth and approach is hard and when i didnt approach it correctly it caused problems.

11. I can be dismissive of peoples feelings if what theyre upset about I think is dumb

12. I’m a high functioning, happy-go-lucky alcoholic.

13. Saying stuff that I know will make her jealous

14. Wait did you want just one? I have a list. I just push people away now days. Can’t hurt em if they don’t get close. Can’t hurt them if I dont touch them. Cant hurt them if I stay uninvolved. I will help a friend any day but getting with me is toxic af. There are much better options out there ladies, don’t settle for toxic.

15. I’m masculine. It seems a lot of panzies think anything masculine is toxic.

16. If there is a solution to her problem, I’m going to state it. I know she just wants to vent, and she needs her feelings validated, but if there is a solution, I’m going to present it. And if she doesn’t try to solve it, and keeps coming back to me to vent about the same problem over and over, I’m going to tire of hearing about it.

17. Not asking for help nearly enough. Taking on more than I can handle.

18. I get really jealous won’t like any of their male friends

19. Diarrhea

20. I (25M) definitely understand that feeling. Saying that another guy is her “best” friend would weird me out too. Unless he’s gay, which changes the dynamic considerably (not trying to start any fires here, you know it makes a difference)

    Mine is shared with a few posters here but I tend to be very wary of fully committing, since I was in a long term (6+ years) relationship that failed and just taught me to be wary of going all in.

21. I’m too independent… I’m just fine doing EVERYTHING for myself… this had annoyed partners before who wanted to help out or cook for me or whatever.

22. I am a very possessive and petty person but constantly fight the urge with my partner. They can easily tell when this happens and let me knows it’s okay to tell the truth about how I really felt in the moment.

23. Nah you’re right to be suspicious of the male best friend because often times that guy is just waiting for you to mess up.

24. needy i guess

25. Jealousy, impulsive/rash decision making which leads to breakups. I’m back in therapy to tackle these two issues because I promised myself to not carry these toxic traits into my 30’s. I have two years to heal and grow of out these toxic traits.

26. Not trying to understand my triggers. Living life in survival mode without realizing it. Isolating myself to avoid the problem of the day. Expecting her to fix me. Lack of communication is probably the worst one.

27. I can take over thinking to some intense levels and make my self paranoid. It all comes back down to trust but sometimes I get so in my head it’s hard for me to determine if there is anything behind any small action, and, I can get stupidly insecure.

    I’m in a relationship rn and the over thinking is killing me at the moment. Makes me feel like I’m not meant for relationships.

28. I can come across cold/awkward when someone else is going through something emotional. It’s not that I actually don’t care, I’m just lost as to how to show it. It doesn’t come natural to me at all, so I usually am texting friends asking for live tips on what I should be doing lol.