So I am in med school and no one in my class starts convo with me or invites me anywhere. It’s like I am invisible. I tried to invite people out and either they agree or they say no. But even when they agree, they don’t invite me out to their gatherings.
I’m always the last to know anything. For example, there was a party on Saturday. No one told even though I ask people what where they doing on the weekend.
I also notice that people are very short with me. Sometimes they walk past me and don’t speak. Or they speak but don’t give eye contact. Their eyes glaze over when I speak as well. They never follow up if they say they are going to do something for me.
And this is literally everyone in my class. So approximately 35 people treat me this way. All day everyday.
It’s starting to make resentful because they don’t even try to hide the disapproval.
Also I want to make it clear that I’m not desperate or needy. Also I am proactive with others. It’s just that they don’t return anything
What do I do? I feel lonely and isolated even though I have friends on the outside. I’m 2 hrs from home by myself
5 comments
You are probably giving off some nervous/anxious vibe and also aren’t great at conversation. Relax, change your body language, look people in the eye and ask them questions about themselves.
Based on what you say, it seems you have issues with your social skills, like talking, how you react in conversations. Are you type of person who annoys them with your answers to question or in conversation?
It is absolutely ridiculous that almost in the class dislike you.
I suggest you work on that by consulting an expert with socialization.
Im the type of guy, who can be invited by someone I barely knew for just 2 meetings. Im very social and knows how to make people laugh. Even a girl thanked me once for being extrovert after talking to her once in a bar.
Well Why should people should initiate conversations with you ? It cannot be because you are lonely and need attention. Are you a good conversationalist ? Are you fun and interesting to be around ? Do you bring positive vibes and positive social energy ? Are you directly impacting or adding to other people’s lives ? People look at these things in deciding to include you.
People notice the way you act and carry yourself around them, especially in person. They can pick up on things like whether you are quiet, anxious, unconfident, insecure etc. and they deduce you are not coming off as the fun, interesting, or positive person they want to be around. They also will think that you feel unworthy around them, thereby seeing you are putting them on a pedestal. When you put people on a pedestal, they will have no choice but to look down upon you.
You need to consistently practice listening and speaking to people in a confident manner, especially in person. You also need to pursue some hobbies and goals. That will make you become self confident, interesting, and respectable in a natural way. You are not going to be valued, appreciated, or recognized as long as you remain insecure. People start doing those things when there is respectable about you. Chase excellence, not people.
🙁 I’m sorry. I’ve had similar issues here and there. I don’t have any answers, just empathy.
I’ve had similar issues so I don’t have a good answer for you. I invited 100 people to my birthday this month. Only 5 are coming, the rest said they are busy. I feel like I have the plague. I’m very friendly, inquisitive, happy person. I have no idea why people hate me.