I hope the auto bot doesn’t take this post down because I seriously need some help/advice. I’m a painfully introverted person who has happened to have mostly retail and sales jobs in my life somehow, so I’ve somewhat overcame the obvious socially awkward habits.
My issue though is that I can’t ever get comfortable in conversation. Even if it’s overwhelmingly positive and I can tell the person is engaged and likes me. I ALWAYS have an “itch” in the back of my mind trying to get out of the conversation at any cost. Because of this I’ve lost out on new friends, business opportunities, and some romantic opportunities because I would just rather be anywhere else. I’ve had customers tell me “you’re the only person I trust here and I love working with you” and all I can think of is “well I’m glad I could help you but please just leave me alone now”.
I just don’t get it. I’m wondering if anyone else has this problem or has overcome it. I’m not afraid of interaction, I usually do well, I just have an innate instinct to try to wriggle out of any conversation to go back to being alone
2 comments
The most straightforward solution is just to lean into the discomfort and refrain from ejecting out of the interaction. Basically over time you will be conditioned to not want to just leave anymore.
Also I think your aren’t being truthful that you aren’t afraid of the interaction. If you truly have no fear and you already acknowledged that ejecting from an interaction has caused you to missed out on things, it would naturally want to make you stay in interactions UNLESS you worry about the uncertainty of the outcome which makes you feel safer in just leaving.
Yup. I think in my case it’s basically anxiety over leaving the world better or at least not worse than I found it. And since I’m not a gambler, I prefer to have controlled interactions with anyone and anything. And then I want to leave especially if it’s positive because the choices are basically either leave it while it’s good or stay long enough to fuck it all up somehow…