Every argument we have is an excuse to stray from the relationship (Meaning she will talk to other people sexually and flirt or basically just talk shit about me to anyone who will listen)
Any time one of our friends does something nice for their s/o she compares me to them and outright says things like why can’t you be more like them without any regard for how embaressing it actually is when she does it right in front of a group of friends.
She will openly flirt with other people and then get angry if I tell her I have an issue with it.
I know I’m not perfect and I know I have my own insecurities to work on, but at the same time I don’t think my insecurities are unfounded when I’ve caught her cheating on me multiple times and she continues to treat others with a level of respect I have never received throughout our relationship.
I’m the idiot for staying and I know that, I’m the idiot for believing things will change and get better.
We have been together for a significant amount of time, which I prefer not to disclose as I know she uses this sub. I just find it ironic that some of her posts she is giving advice that she herself doesn’t even use.
The last few weeks I have told her I don’t like the way she talks to me, she has told me that I read into what she’s saying too much and shouldn’t be so sensitive, while I might be over reacting in some instances I don’t think it’s unfair to tell someone joking or otherwise that they are being too harsh.
Our most recent argument stemmed from a similar scenario where she said she was being rude because I was being annoying, I asked her how I was being annoying and she turned it into a bigger argument basically telling me I’m useless in every facet.
I’m not perfect and will always defend myself, but I just don’t understand how it’s so easy to treat others like a doormat and think you’re the one in the right all the time. Her excuse is that I don’t deserve her treating me nicely when I haven’t earned it.
I know this is an advice platform, I’m just venting as I know I don’t have the courage right now to up and leave. But it hurts to sit here and stew in my own thoughts all day.
Sorry if this post seems a bit all over the place, I’m just writing thoughts as they come to me so it may seem a little sporadic, I will make edits once I’ve had a chance to think a bit more clearly.
TLDR: She will cheat on me at any given opportunity and it feels like she looks for excuses to argue so that she can do it as she knows I find it difficult to exit the relationship and remove my feelings for her.
4 comments
Yeah dude… Find someone to be with who actually likes you…
this is verbal abuse and you should find the strength to leave
Youre doing what im doing. Youre comfortable because you know her; you’ve loved her for a long time.
But she is hurting you.
She doesnt care enough to ever consider being monogamous or stay involved, let alone consider how you feel and why.
Its shitty and hurts but you have to look at your situation and make ways in seperating and then break things off. She sounds irresponsible and sadistic (she takes pleasure in your pain and the attention her infedility gets her. She feels desireable in being ‘wanted’ by you AND some random guy who she probably might not even find attractive. You cant fix that. She should. She isnt.)
Focus on seperating and when you do, i actually worry for your safety. I would go for a stroll somewhere busy or at a coffee house as soon as you get a table. I would stay calm and be firm. (Shes probably not used to being pushed away by you)
She most likely has lost her feelings for you. Women typically do this long before they break up with a guy. I’d say it’s only a matter of time before she breaks up with you. You may not get over her for awhile if you two split up but in the long run you’ll probably be happier moving on and finding someone else who treats you better.