For context, I don’t use real names.
I 19 (female) have a boyfriend named Jeremy (21 male).
We have been together since the start off the lockdown so let’s say around 2020. Lately tho he has been very distance and i called him out for it. He swore he still loved me and everything. But if I’m honest I lost my feelings for Jeremy. I don’t like being locked in a relation ship and just want to be free. Even tho everytime I bring the subject up he throws a fit and starts saying without me he would hurt himself.
He really is my best friend and I really love him but I just don’t love him anymore as a boyfriend and don’t know how to break it to him without him willing to hurt himself. I also met a guy (just a friend) and he is so sweet and lovely and I’m slowly getting feelings for him.
I asked my best friend and she’s said
That I was a horrible person for being so bitter to Jeremy and how dare I like someone else.
I really don’t know what to do. Please help!
4 comments
He needs counseling, and you need to cut him loose if you already have another guy in your crosshairs.
He does need therapy. If he threatens self harm every time you try to break up with him- it’s essentially emotional blackmail.
It’s totally ok to break up with him. Threatening to hurt or kill oneself if you leave is terrible, and it’s actually a common tactic of abusers. It’s emotional manipulation and it is absolutely not ok.
You can encourage him to seek support if he’s having true mental health issues. You can be kind but also set firm boundaries that: 1- you don’t owe a relationship to anyone; 2- you are not responsible for his mental health.
Also 3- your “best friend” is very unsupportive. You might need to tell her this too – you don’t owe anyone a relationship!! Repeat it 10000 times until you believe it!
My friend was in a relationship where her bf said he would kill himself without her and when she broke up with him he was devastated and a mess for weeks but didn’t harm himself he just had serious issues he needed to work through so don’t stay in a relationship you don’t want to be Bc of toxic statements like that.