i am a person who always says whatevers on my mind. sometimes it’ll make things awkward between me and the other person because it was really random, or it’s something super personal about myself that maybe they didn’t need to hear. but why do i need to filter myself? it’s so tiring and makes me feel less genuine. at the same time though, it makes me feel like a weirdo and usually the other person doesn’t know how to respond to what i said because it’s super awkward. idk.
7 comments
It’s tiring to censor yourself because it’s work. It’s also the skill of understanding and behaving appropriately with others.
If that skill is low, you won’t have a lot of deep and meaningful relationships.
It’s possible you may have the type of issues that make it even more work for you to do that, so you’re less inclined to do the work. You may want to look into that if you’re trying to change in the future.
Youre gonna push a lot of people away from you
Out of curiosity do you have an internal monologue or are you one of the folks that don’t?
Yup
You don’t have to filter.
Most of us do that to avoid either 1) personal embarrassment, or 2) offending the other person.
If you’re not worried about those two things, there’s no need to filter.
Depends. I recently stopped hanging out with someone who said everything that was on her mind because it was a non-stop verbal barrage of nonsense. Not only was I completely unable to participate in the conversation, but nothing was actually being communicated. It was exhausting just being around her.
Do people feel this way around you?
Well the consequences of always saying what’s on your mind basically means you will alienate other people.
What is considered acceptable to say–or even being able to say what is in your best interest–depends on context. Having a strong filter ensures you say acceptable things that are in your best interest.
Job interviews, dates, talking with a boss, etc all depend on skilfully censoring yourself.
Keep in mind, though, just because you can’t say something now, doesn’t mean you can’t say it later when the context has changed.
I suggest you think about whether sharing an unasked for thought counts as being “genuine.”
I’m honest with people when they ask my opinion, but I don’t share my opinion every time the opportunity arises.