Hey guys,
I am a guy from Germany, about to turn 29 next month. I participated in the Green Card lottery and always wonder what would happen if I won. If I would win this year, I’d probably be 31 or 32 when actually moving over. Now I am at an age where I would like to find someone to settle down with.
Would I have troubles dating someone, being new to the country? Did you have experiences with foreigners good or bad? How important is it for people to have a partner who grew up in the same city or country, to have the same history so to say etc?
Just curious if women would be taken aback by the fact that someone just came to the country. Idk if that matters but I would probably move to Dallas, TX but haven’t fully decided yet.
45 comments
Allow me to flip this around, would you do the same if roles were reversed?
No one would really care in the age demographic you’re looking in. Your accent might actually make you more attractive to some.
Plus a lot of people in Texas have German ancestry, so it would be kind of weird to discriminate against someone fresh off the boat.
Of course! As long as there isn’t a severe language barrier or obvious red flags I see no reason to rule someone out just for being a new immigrant.
The only issue for most people would be the language barrier. I would have no issue dating a new American.
Well I’m married so currently no I wouldn’t but only because I wouldn’t date anyone at all. If I was single then yeah sure why not. Dallas is a pretty international city, I’m sure you’ll be fine.
Of course I would. I’d probably prefer someone that’s not from around here because I already know what the majority of the people around here are like.
Wisconsin is full of German immigrants. (also Poles & Norwegians). You would be amazed at how familiar everything would seem.
I mean I’m sure you’ll find some people who wouldn’t but as long as there are no language barriers and our values align (or at least we can find compromise) I don’t think I or most Americans would have a problem dating an immigrant.
Most people would have no problem with it so long as they like the person in question.
Language barrier isn’t always a barrier. I know from experience.
I’m from here, went to Japan right out of high school, planned to stay 2 years then met my Brazilian husband and stayed 10 years (supersonic relationship- basically started living together right after we met, decided to get married 2 months after, found out I was pregnant 2 weeks after that but it actually took 5 months to get married because lots of paperwork involved and I was in Japan without a visa for about 6 months 😂).
Anyways, we spoke a mixture of English, Japanese, Portuguese and Spanish for probably the first couple of years before I got a good handle on Portuguese.
Very unusual but it worked for us. We’ve been married 24 years, raised our kids, and are still happy. It’s just a lot of work.
Also, this was before smart phones, just the start of the internet being commonly used. This was in the time of actual dictionaries that we had to use.
I dated a French girl in college. If anything, her imperfect English, slight accent, and curiosity about America made her cuter.
Just be authentic. You will be fine.
If anything you will have an easier time because of your foreign accent. Someone will be interested in you because you sound exotic. Your job will be to avoid anyone crazy or otherwise incompatible and not fuck it up with other issues or mistakes.
In the United States German is the single biggest demo. More German Americans than even Irish Americans. And young Germans from Germany who I meet now can speak better english than most Americans.
Frankly, as a European (especially Western European) immigrant, your experience will be very different from new immigrants from most other areas.
Other than language barriers, my other concern with dating foreigners is how they treat women (or how women are treated in their home country.) I don’t see a problem with Germany, but I would write off a lot of countries for that reason. I have a friend who dated and then married an FOB Iranian guy. The marriage did not last very long at all.
Love breaks down many barriers and builds many bridges. You’ll be fine as long as you’re honest.
Speaking as an American/Irish citizen who used to live in Spain and now lives in South Korea and who has pretty much only dated non-Americans for the last seven years, you would be fine.
Women would probably swoon over your accent. You also might get passes for stuff that American women wouldn’t put up with if they were dating an American man (the same works in reverse by the way for Americans overseas). You would be very, for lack of a better word, exotic.
Overall though, the same rules apply almost everywhere. If you are in good shape and look like you take care of yourself, you will find someone. If you are tall, even more so.
I wouldn’t worry too much. In fact, I would probably get very excited.
Sure, I do it all the time, lol. Not that I consciously plan it like that but it just happens that way sometimes, lol. Lots of people like accents too so you’ll be fine.
It is totally possible. Just be aware of how often you talk about what you don’t like about our country and when it’s appropriate to bring it up. It can be a turnoff if it’s too much and at the wrong time.
I once dated a “fresh off the boat” Dutchman for several months. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other. There was a ton of chemistry between us and I have a weakness for the bluntness of the Dutch. We could have gotten serious but he brought up our country’s lack of recycling options way too many times during sexy time.
Edit: he found a nice girl after me and they did get serious and will probably marry. I think she was also an exPat.
Edit 2: added some clarity
You’ll be fine. If you can speak English and are gainfully employed then I doubt you’d have major issues. To be honest, the whole “European thing” will probably get you more women, not less lol.
Why Dallas?
Sure
There are many people in my area who are foreign immigrants, tons of transplants in the city that I live. Lots of Americans dig an accent, as long as you can speak English you should be fine.
I have and do. I’ve gotten along with foreigners my whole life. My best friends growing up were a Haitian and Russian. I don’t date American born men.
You’re going to be just fine mate 🙂 Good luck and enjoy your time here!
There’s a large German population in Texas; there’s even a distinct Texan dialect of German. I think you’ll be fine, especially in such a huge city where outsiders ain’t super unusual.
No one would really care. And also you always have a good conversation starter so you got a leg up my guy 🙂
I have, and I’d do it again.
I’m more interested in the Green card lottery. How’s that work? It sounds interesting, yet I’m slightly confused at the same time.
The only thing I think could be an issue is some cultural clashing. But even then, I’m not actually getting that vibe from your comments/profile. The South can be one of those places where people are fake-polite, you know? So the way that Germans speak more directly and concisely can sometimes cause tension. Personally, I find it amusing and weirdly efficient, but plenty of people I know are offended by it here in the Midwest. Since Southerners can have an expectation that you’ll be polite even while being rude, you might find yourself needing to clarify your positions more than you’d like to. But I also think you seem pretty agreeable here, and I’d like to think that this is something most new arrivals work out.
I’m about your age and I don’t think any of my (single) friends would be put off by you being a foreigner. Some women might assume they’d be expected to support you financially, but that’s an easy enough thing to clarify. If you can take care of yourself then I think it’s more likely women will be intrigued by your accent and new perspective.
You’re in luck, American ladies love foreigners. We aren’t like Europeans where we have a distaste for foreigners in a relationship. It’s safe to say you’ll have many prospects haha
I don’t think there would be any issue in an urban area. My friend is from Germany and he just married a lady from Ohio that he met in San Francisco. I think he was pretty prolifically dating before her
I would suggest that if you were non-white from a non-western culture it might be a bit tougher
Honestly though it mostly comes down to looks and if you got some swag
You’d be eaten ALIVE with an accent here.
Good luck!
Most of the southwestern US was settled by the Germans. Everywhere you go you will see a little placard somewhere telling you about such and such settled this place was of German decent. San Antonio was. I think the oldest restaurant still in operation in San Antonio is German. [https://schilos.com/history](https://schilos.com/history)
And I myself married a ROB (right off the boat) from Malaysia. Despite a few loudmouths you see on social media, Americans are remarkable accepting of other cultures.
I always describe it using Lego. Like you have a Lego kit, and I have a Lego kit. A few of the pieces won’t work with each other. But most of them can. So let’s see what we can make by combining them.
You’re moving to America. Most Americans are well adjusted to dating someone from somewhere else. Welcome!
“fresh off the boat” refers more to people with a very different set of cultural norms, language values. They have a lot of assimilating to do.
Your ancestors set the standard here. If you didn’t have an accent, hardly anybody is going to even notice you might be from another country.
An Amish community is going to appear more foreign to the average american, than you will.
You’ll be fine.
I’ve never dated someone brand new to the country, but I do have an ex that was only here for a little over 2 years when we met.
Just speaking for myself, with a new arrival it’d depend heavily the how big the language and cultural barriers are.
A girl from France or even just a heavily westernized city outside of the West like Beruit who speaks conversational English? Sure.
A chick from Quanzhou China who can barely put a sentence together? Probably not.
If I were single, it would not be an issue where you are from. Any decent chick won’t, either. We care about the content of your character and what’s in your heart, not what accent you speak with 🙂
Ooooh, an exotic!
Joking aside, I’m the eventual product of someone dating someone fresh off the boat. I don’t think you’ll have a problem. Gotta keep that American dream going.
This is a country full of immigrants, at its core… I think you will be fine.
For dating I don’t think you’d have a problem in the slightest.
For more serious relationships I’d expect someone who can communicate well with you would be more likely.
I have no issues with it. The language barrier isn’t even as big of a hurdle to me as it would be to some people because I do have a passive interest in learning other languages. I’m actually actively working on German and would relish the chance to practice.
Yes. Did. Married her.
There’s a great German expat community here in Dallas! Many are involved in the cycling community and do weekly rides/beers. Two close friends of mine from Dallas have married Germans and they’re a wonderful addition to our group. Many Texans have German heritage and German-style beers are popular at our many excellent local breweries.
I have personally dated someone pretty fresh off the boat from Belgium. He was really fun and I love learning about other cultures.
Not dating, but my factory manager is from Russia and came over a few months ago. She is my favorite person at work. I leave her little food treats because she works long hours. We can communicate without saying a word. I cannot be the only person here like this.
I did it, met a Slovakian girl who’d only been in the country for a week or 2 and we ended up dating for 4 years. I didn’t work out, but not due to any cultural issues. Some people like dating people
Who have a different background and life experiences from them. So as long as you’re otherwise ‘dateable’ I’m sure you’ll be fine