I (F20) have been seeing this guy (M20) for two months now. in the first month of dating we both established that we didn’t want to see anyone else during the time we’re getting to know each other, so we decided to be exclusive. it’s now been two months and it feels like we’re in an actual relationship. we do all the couple stuff without the actual title of a relationship… which I don’t really understand. so I asked him about a week ago how ready was he to be in a relationship and he said “I feel like i’m ready but I don’t know about the title. I like what we have.”
for some reason this made me feel a little hurt, and I might be overreacting, but if he’s not sure about a title with me doesn’t it seem like he doesn’t consider me girlfriend material yet? I respect that he wants to go slow but I also don’t know if I want to be exclusive with someone who isn’t sure they even want to be in a relationship with me. Is this worth sticking out or am I wasting my time?
TLDR: wondering if i’m wasting time being exclusive with someone who isn’t sure about the boyfriend or relationship title after 2 months
3 comments
He is saying for whatever reason he does not want a title. Maybe he just isn’t ready or maybe he’s searching for someone that might be better. If it’s important to you, then give him a deadline. Like a “I want to be established by next month or I’m going to need to move on” comment.
It isn’t unfair to ask him to ‘shit or get off the pot’ so to speak. You don’t get GF perks without the title for long.
I would ask him if he sees you moving towards having a relationship and what specifically about the title changes things or what things he’s looking for before he is ready.
If he can’t or won’t give you reasonable answers then yes you are wasting your time. You shouldn’t have to convince someone to want more with you… if that’s the case, next!
>“I feel like i’m ready but I don’t know about the title. I like what we have.”
He wants boyfriend privileges without the boyfriend responsibilities. When he gets bored, he won’t break up with you because there’s nothing _to_ break up as far as he’s concerned.
>doesn’t it seem like he doesn’t consider me girlfriend material yet?
Girl, _he_ isn’t boyfriend material. His aren’t the only standards to consider here.
Don’t date people you aren’t on the same page with about commitment, especially after 2 months. That’s plenty of time to know if you want to date someone or not, and his answer is a longer “no”.