I can’t hold conversations at all. Whenever someone talks to me I usually don’t know what to say next and give short answers like “Oh really?” Or “yeah.” Sometimes I can’t think of what to say next and my mind is just blank. Heres an example of a conversation I had today:
Them: medical terms have such weird names like *(slang for medical term)* they call it *(proper medical term)*
Me: oh really
Them: yeah
Me: …
Even when I do ask follow up questions the conversation ends up dying down fast. It makes it hard for me to make friends because it usually takes a long time for me to keep a conversation. One of my friends I met in 6th grade but couldn’t hold a genuine conversation with her until the beginning of 11th grade. Before 11th grade, we would hang out in a group and just have small conversations with many awkward silences. This happens in class too, when my teacher tells us to talk in our groups/partners I can talk about the subject for a bit but when I’m done saying what i had to say we just sit in silence while the other groups keep on conversating. My friend has so many friends, when we are walking around school she says hi to everyone and tbh I’m jealous. But advice would be appreciated.
8 comments
The topic they just brought up, find literally anything related to it and ask them that back, for example “that’s cool what kind of other medical things have named like that?” Even if you’re not interested, eventually you’ll find something to talk about where it’s easier
The key here is to focus on what the other person is saying and stop thinking too much on what you are going to say next. Listening attentively would very likely help you to come up with follow up questions or comments to keep the conversation going. Thinking on what to say next and panicking for not having anything to say would more likely not. Also, don’t be scared of silences. Take your time to think and articulate a comment. The less scared you are of silence the less panic you will feel, and the easier it will be for you to come up with things to say.
One addition: when asking questions try to ask open ended questions rather than yes/no-type questions. For instance, instead of only asking “did you like the movie?”, ask/add “what was your favourite scene of the movie?” The second question creates more room for a conversation as it invites the other person to speak more 🙂
“oh really? are you interested in the medical field?” just keep the conversation going, ask questions, and add your input where it fits.
If I were you I would invest my time in books and movies. Join a book club. Join movie fan sites. You can start talking in a group that’s all focused on the same topic. I think that will help you.
Hey there! I have this issue too! Something I’ve done to help is develop a script of generic questions to keep the conversation going. One of my favorite questions is “What is the craziest /wildest/most interesting thing that’s happened to you while doing (job/activity/hobby)?” That’s a good one because they get to bring up something interesting to them while also giving you an interesting anecdote to comment on!
Developing a true, genuine interest in people by bringing up interesting topics seems to be the best way to keep a conversation going!
…that’s weird, huh? What other ones do you know?
I think to me good conversations comes from good listening . When I am in loss of words usually means am more focused on myself trying to come up with something to say which ends up in me being awkward . The secret for me at least is just to focus on the other person , what are they saying , and ask more questions trying to understand their view
Here is a bag of tricks:
1. Ask an open ended questions: “Why do they make up these weird terms?”
2. Make a joke: “Would you rather they say, “The patient’s a**hole is bleeding and is nasty as hell?”, or “If they used slang for everything medical school would take half as long.”
3. Express your opinion: “They really should use slang so it would be easier to understand them.”
4. Change the topic: “I totally agree. Speaking of healthcare I saw a dead squirrel on the way here and it made me sad.”
5. Tell a story: <Can’t think of one in this case>
6. Say whatever comes to mind with limits: “I wonder what the medical term for a**hole is.”