How do I stop getting attached so quickly?

9 comments

1. [deleted]

2. It seems like you may have an issue with independence? You seem to have pinpointed that the type of girls that you are interested in may be feeding into this.

3. It sounds like you’re looking for a life raft and not an actual relationship. Get your things in order before starting to date again.

4. > barely a month in, I already asked my last partner how they would feel about living together.

   > my house life with my parents is not great.

   Stop rushing to establish an relationship just because you hate living at home.

5. Being dependent on someone else is definitely not the way to go. Because no one is responsible for the needs only you can provide for yourself, such as income, a job, and resources. I suggest you try to become independent in those ways first before considering going into relationships. Having a partner isn’t supposed to complete you, it’s supposed to be a bonus to your own life that should always be self improving.

6. What did she say?

   Also did you ask her to live with you?

   Or

   How she would feel about living with you?

   You can talk a little about things far in the future

7. You need to get this out of your head, that attachment you create is the idea of them you have in your head. Reality is different than imagination.

   So, work on yourself when it’s just the beginning, shallow. Work like everything’s normal. The beginning of something. You have to think, like hey it’s just the beginning, it’s everything normal.

8. If someone a month in asked me how I felt about moving in together, I’d have to bow out for sure. There is absolutely no reason to rush things like that and very often, little benefit. Learned the hard way.

9. So you can’t afford an apartment, or a car, or a motorcycle. Sounds like you need to work on your career and finances before getting seriously attached.