As the question says, how does one get over someone they never dated? We had plans to date, but he was in love with someone who wasn’t interested in him, so my chances with him were practically ruined by his incapability of moving on with his life – and now, he’s so afraid of relationships that he’s going back and saying be doesn’t want to date me, even after all the stuff I’ve went through with him.
I’ve tried moving on (we live together) but with each major thing that fucks our lives, I keep crashing back into his arms seeking comfort. But at this very moment, I KNOW I can live without him, albeit very painful the first few weeks. But still.
I’m tired of seeing him hurt himself (not seriously, more mentally) and just watching him wallow in his depression state. He actually wants to date one of my friends, but I already know that there’s just no way Those two would work, and I even warned him about it and yet he still wants to pursue this person who has no interest in him, and yet I’m over here like ?????? I’m right here????
We’re all flawed, I’ll admit that. I have my problems, he has his. We’re working on them constantly, that, I can admit. It’s just – seriously deep down, I want to know why he refuses to give me a chance and yet goes out to pursue others who has no interest in him. Meanwhile, when he gets hurt, I have to be there to coddle him and tell him it’ll be alright – like why must I be forced into caring for you after you hurt yourself trying to reach too high (which I don’t blame him for, reach for the stars! He deserves it and more!) When you can reach out within arms reach and find the stuff you’re looking for in others right in front of you?
Sorry, I’m ranting at this point; I’m just tired of hurting and really want to disappear sometimes. But I can’t, we love together.
I might have limerence, but I’m not too sure about that.
2 comments
Work on getting away from the situation. Sometimes you just have to box yourself out. You might need to move to get out of this situation. You didn’t say how old he was or yourself. A lot of times experience helps with the next relationship. He uses you because you’re safe.
If you don’t want to move right now, just be on the lookout for situations to where you can move in with another family, a girlfriend, because of that you might have to make yourself more open to being around other people than the person you live with.
Start trying to fall out of love. This is what I meant about getting out of the box. You can talk yourself into knowing that while this is a good relationship, a friendly relationship, it’s not going to last or be a in love type of relationship.