When I speak to people, I always get along with them. I understand them by the way they speak, the words they choose, body posture, and eye contact. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that I overshare too much. I feel anxious internally. On the outside, I’m calm and collected but on the inside, I don’t know two shits about what socializing even is. I think this is why my friendships aren’t long lasting. I get too goal oriented and focus on the things that matter, not the funny day to day things that happen (what people truly love to talk about more)… who wants to talk to someone always about goals and progress? I guess maybe I’m a bit hard on myself but I love helping people and seeing if I can resolve any internal battles they have.
Point is, I’ll be at a social event like at a bar and I won’t even bother talking to people even if it’s small talk because what’s the point? The real value isn’t even being discussed… I mean I can do talk about whatever the fuck but inside I feel like I’m dead. I’m way too serious maybe? Idk I really want to improve my social skills and understand how I can just let go and socialize genuinely. Ask people about their drink or what they’re doing later after the bar… small talk questions leading to small talk answers? Maybe it’s a fear of rejection or being seemed lame?
3 comments
I feel the same way
The reason the relationships are short lived is because once folks figure out your genuinely that way they become insecure. The elephant in the room with these scenarios is most people have small talk not because they aren’t trying to be serious its because they brain only allows for small talk with people they aren’t intimately close too.
As a person similar to you, don’t fret and use them the way they use you. Connect with others like yourself
You’re not alone I used to do it all the time so now I’m trying to be reserved.