“Love life” is an overstatement as you will see, I pretty much have none.
As a 20 yo, I’ve never had a girlfriend, never been kissed by a girl, never been hugged by a girl, but I’m not asking for your pity. I hurt myself more than the facts do.
I don’t wanna bore you, so here’s my situation in short: Last year, I met a girl who was a mutual friend and I really really liked her from the first instant I saw her (no joke). I got her number, texted her, and hung out with her twice but the thing is, I was completely head over heels for her (which I obviously didn’t show her). I couldn’t stop thinking about her, our future, and how good we’d be together. I would plan when to text her weeks in advance, wear my really nice clothes when I saw her, “save my shaves” on my face (go weeks without shaving so I get a nice clean shave when I see her). When she didn’t totally reciprocate, it took me a long while to get over her (in fact, I still think about her a bit).
I met another girl in one of my organizations and she is a mutual friend and the same thing happened. I am currently completely head over heels for her (still prepare before I know I’m going to see her the organization meeting in all the ways listed above), I cannot stop thinking about her, I’ve researched her countlessly online (she has a LinkedIn page, Instagram, and a few other pages where some of her personal interests and details are listed). She likes Grey’s Anatomy so I’ve started binging it and getting ready on how I could talk to her about it. I found out she’s from a county in California which is close by to where a lot of my family is from so I’m planning on acting like I knew her county from before when she mentions where she’s from (even though I know her county just because I researched her). I can’t imagine her with someone else and it makes me severely depressed when I think about it. Every time I imagine that us meeting is quite unlikely (due to us being in different committees in the club), I become even more depressed.
This constant rollercoaster really hurts me in the inside, and I truly wish I could use a turn “off” switch so that I’m instantly not this infatuated with someone, but it just doesn’t work that easily for me.