No matter how much I plan for it in advance, how many times I think over what I’m going to say, I always hold myself back. I never go for it. And that’s because there is never a time when I’m confident that I won’t go about asking women out in a manner that is inappropriate and makes the recipient of my advance feel uncomfortable. People say the worst that could happen is they say “no”, but in my mind, the worst that could happen is she tells people that I made an unwanted advance, and I face serious repercussions in other facets of my life. Or, I squick her out enough to cause her feelings of discomfort in all subsequent interactions – she knows that I see her as a sexual object, and all of my communication with her is geared towards trying to “win her over”. She becomes genuinely frightened in my presence, and her skin starts crawling at the mere prospect of being anywhere near me.
I wish I could experience love and dating, but that’s for normal people. I’m not allowed to partake in those sorts of things. I’m creepy, and I’ll just make them uncomfortable.
6 comments
why do you see women as sexual objects? I think that when you reframe your mindset, your actions follow.
You’re too focused on what they will think and need. Does what you think and need not matter? Don’t neglect your own needs and desires. Own up to your actions. Learn to justify them because approaching somoeone (respectfully) is perfectly normal. We are social beings. If someone doesn’t want to be approached they can kindly reject. You shouldn’t justify (in your mind) unkind behavior (thoughts) in return.
Yeah I’m the same, women get creeped out just by me smiling at them so best to avoid them and just stick to chatting to guys.
You are extremely outcome dependent, and this will effect the energy you bring across to the woman you’re interested in. Take a step back, you’re already assuming the worst possible outcome, that her skin will start crawling.
Remind yourself of your best qualities, achievements. Believe that the girl is just as lucky to have met you. Women pick up on your behaviours, so as long as you can exude confidence and be in a relaxed state, you should be okay.
Jesus why neuter yourself mentally like this, you are of worth OP
Whenever I’m uncertain about what to say I usually just default to [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znQ4lOZ9XKA).