I know how to socialize with others. I’m aware of body language, and social customs. I can laugh, make people laugh, listen, and carry conversations with ease. I’m not ugly, toxic, weird, or offensive. And I have an active interesting life with a lot to offer.
But I can’t make new friends. Others can with ease. But I’m constantly meeting new people, and receiving no interest. I feel suicidal because I feel like I’m cursed. No matter what I do people don’t like me or don’t care to know me.
4 comments
Kinda, because I am ugly so nobody wants to socialize with me (human nature). But hopefully one day I can purchase a form of surgery and fix some of my problems, and then I might be a bit better looking to socialize. Or I might get lucky and meet someone who looks like me, I am hoping for that soon.
Yes. The PTSD has always fucked me over and either prevented me from making friends, or sabotaged the friendships I do have. U
I did years ago, had a lot of depression around it. Chances are there’s a thing. Might be “weird”, might be “asshole”. You say it’s not one of these, but it’s going to be something. Whatever it is, you’re probably aware of it, but don’t think it’s that big of a deal, or know that you’re only like that on the outside when you’re nervous.
Other people only see you in your external context, and there’s only so close to the thing they’re willing to get. If you’re weird, maybe they only want to hang out with you in a group so it’s filtered. If you’re an asshole, maybe they enjoy your company but don’t want you near anything sensative because they fear you’ll shit on it.
Yes! I do feel cursed! And i can even say that, like you, I also have quite a good life and manners. BUT even then, a curse is just a curse. An evil eye. A spell. It can only be there as long as you believe in it. Cursed as you are, as we are, we are still going on, and with that we show our defiance to it. We still give a fight to the universe. We still want to take from it even as it tells us with the curse that we can’t, and fuck that. Curses are just curses. A spell. Believe in it and it will hold. Believe that you can go beyond it and overpower it and you’ll do that. Someone will appear. Someone with a bless. You’ll win over the curse, you just have to endure and never falter in your defiance to it.
But dropping a bit of the drama, getting a therapist or involving yourself in workshops or volunteering can help with that. Good luck