Last Sunday, my boyfriend and I got into a fight essentially because he was mad that I went out for Halloween with my sister instead of him, even though me and her made plans weeks prior after he told me he wouldn’t be able to make it that night. This is besides the point, but it gives some context as to why we gave each other space and didn’t speak from Monday to Friday this past week. For some more background, we’ve been dating for a year and a half and our relationship is perfect besides communication issues on his end.
Last night, he reached out and broke our
no-contact period by asking if I needed more time. I said no, he said he didn’t either, and we basically made up. This morning, I asked if we were seeing each other this weekend (we usually spend all weekend together, if not just Saturday to Sunday). He said he was going to his friend’s house tonight, but that we could do something tomorrow. I was disappointed because I figured after not talking all week, he would be eager to see me. Or at least show some enthusiasm about seeing me. But I didn’t let my annoyance show in our texts. I said that I wished we could’ve seen each other tonight. He just said “Yeah me too.”
I asked if something was wrong. He said no, he was just working. He works at a coffee shop and he *always* texts me throughout the day when he works on Saturday because it’s the slowest day and he’s always bored.
I said that I felt like I was being overly excited about seeing him. He said “No you aren’t.” I just said “Okay.” He said “Can you not? Sorry I have a job and can’t give you the attention you need.”
I was extremely hurt by this because again, he’s never had a problem having a casual conversation on Saturdays at work before. He’s actually the one who initiates conversations 99% of the time while he’s working on the weekends. again, because he gets bored. I also felt like the “*Sorry I have a job*” was a jab at me because I’ve been unemployed for the past month (he actually encouraged me to quit my job because I had a creepy male boss) while I look for an internship.
I said “I just wanted to be affectionate. We haven’t talked all week. Sorry. I’ll leave you alone.”
He said “I appreciate it. Thank you.” Then 10 minutes later said, “I meant I appreciate your affection not leaving me alone.”
I was confused and said “You don’t want me to leave you alone?”
He didn’t respond for two and a half hours, but was clearly on his phone because his Twitter activity shows up on my feed, so I sent a “…..”
He responded within seconds saying “Jesus Christ. Can I work? I’ll text you in an hour”
I haven’t responded because I don’t even know what to say. I was hurt before, but now I’m annoyed that he responded to *that* text within seconds, but couldn’t take a few seconds to respond to my text before. In two and a half hours. When he obviously had enough time to go on Twitter. After we haven’t spoken all week.
What do I say, if anything? Does it seem like I’m being too needy? I’m trying my best not to be, and I’m trying to give him the benefit of the doubt because he *has* been training to be a manager for the past month, but I don’t feel like wanting to have a normal conversation after not talking all week is too much to ask.
Tl;dr My boyfriend and I didn’t speak for 5 days because we got into a fight last weekend. We started talking again last night, things seemed to be going well, and suddenly he seems irritated by me wanting to have a conversation with him.
3 comments
I dont really know why you are saying everything is perfect besides communication on his part. You guys both suck at communicating.
Regardless of the other issues, I don’t appreciate the way he lashed out at you when he texted: “Jesus Christ! Can I work?” Let him talk to someone else like that. You are 22 and at the top of your game. Drop him and concentrate on finding your internship, a new job and a much better man. Good luck to you.
For some reason, I didn’t realize he was almost 30. If you guys were both young, I would say you were inexperienced and need to work on communication.
As it stands, he seems immature and probably has an eye on another woman and he didn’t want to have to explain that he was texting his GF.