I’m 23 year old guy around 6ft currently doing engineering now in last year .Never had any girlfriend or girl friends throughout my whole 23 years of life,I studied in boys college from 6th class and now in engineering .I’ve started serious working out daily for about past 4months , I’ve been hitting gym on and off before also but not seriously but with past 4 month I started with intense workout and diet regime before I couldn’t even bench press 30 kg (which includes 20 kg rod +2*5kg plates ) but now I can do 30 kg each side incline dumbell press of 8-10 reps. Squats around 110kg 8 reps deadlift around 120 kg 3-4 reps.
But still I haven’t gotten any confidence to approach girls and talk to them, Today I thought of approaching some in market but couldn’t do so as I started thinking what to speak and she is with her friends + all those self critical things what if I get rejected she didn’t reply me Or I get stammer ( I stammer sometimes while speaking not often but yeah when I nervous it spikes up) and after not able to approach I feel so low motivated that I feel like crying with myself as what is wrong with me. This whole scenario happens with me over and over when I think of approaching girls. I feel demotivating and felt like crying sometimes I think what the worth of hitting gym if I can’t get enough confidence to talk.
I’m currently not on any social media deleted my insta account years ago as I was skinny at that time and I don’t feel like clicking photos.
Even now also i don’t feel like clicking photos or gym selfies like other guys or use any social media. This is my first time ever posting something on any social platform.
My engineering college friends (they are few) also can’t approach random girls and they are okay with it they say what a point of cold approach find something common to approach they also can’t do cold approach or talk to random girls and they are ok but I’m not don’t know why( maybe I think because I didn’t have any single girl friend to talk to throughout my whole life) while my boys school friends they are in different college in different cities but they have groom themself enough and are not even virgin
I also get suicidal feeling sometimes thinking of all such dating aspect
My family relations are also not that great and I don’t like talking to them as my parents have very toxic relationship and I want to avoid all those negativity .
I will be very grateful to this whole community to help me improve myself
1 comment
Approaching “random girls” is usually a recipe for failure. The reason is she only knows you as a “random guy” with no context whatsoever, so that’s a bit dangerous for women. So you may end up with an Automatic Rejection because of that.
The best way to meet women is someplace where you can see them regularly and strike up regular conversations. That way they can get to know you a bit, and feel there is some context for who you are etc. So pick a thing like an exercise club, a professional group, volunteer work (with younger people, not old retired people), co-ed adult recreational sports teams, a hobby/interest group, dance class, adult ed classes, political/civics group, etc.
The key is to see people REGULARLY so you can strike up conversations over a period of time.
As an aside, the thing to bring to new relationships is something I call PIE: Positivity, Interest in others and Enthusiasm.
Good luck!