Hi, I’m a 22 year old guy.
Im really shy and often awkward but with somewhat confidence.
I would say I’m fairly odd but still somewhat attractive. I hide myself in characters all the time.
I use to be to kind, nice and innocent.
But as I got older I started looking in to self improvement. I started to understand the supply and demand theory.
Now when I meet new people I find attractive, I somehow unconsciously starting to manipulate them in to like me.
It could be over the course of a night or half a year. Most of the time it’s because I want to approach them in a sexual way. But it could be in an job career way to.
It works all of the time, I see it as an challenge to try to attract a girl that’s “out of reach”
They are usually older and prettier, and often with a nicer background.
I usually flirt with them in an very unserious way, often by complicated inside jokes and fantasy stories of us together.
It most of the time feels like a wired sister & brother relationship. Maybe a stepsister?…
Time goes by and It almost always comes to the point where I can tell that they wants to fuck me.
The moment comes, we are alone and drunk. But I chicken out!?
I just tell them that I need to go home or whatever…
Why do I do this?
I know the feeling of when someone I don’t find attractive tries to flirt with me, and it’s always so awkward for me, so it’s almost as I don’t want to flirt with them because I’m afraid they will feel what I feel, even tough I can tell they like me.
I still fuck people, but not when I was the one manipulating them in to liking me.
People would say this could be psychopathic tendency, but I’m everything but psychopathic.
I almost believe it’s immoral to continue because I made them like me.
Something I have noticed is that the girl will always eventually say “people will think we are together”
Why do they say this?
Do I read the situation wrong?
Why do I successfully manipulate girls in to liking me?
And why do I chicken out?
Thank you, I’m very confused
Tl;dr I manipulate girls in to liking me, once they like me, I ignore them.
6 comments
Because you’re insecure
Kinda just sounds like what girls do when guys show interest…you can show them that you don’t care and they are all over you and the one time that you kinda show interest they lose all interest and it isn’t fun for them anymore. Maybe you just like the thrill of the hunt and like this guys said in another comment that you may be insecure and the hunt is you finding a girl that will reassure you that you are wanted. But then you have that moral block that won’t allow you to continue because you manipulated to that point
Despite what some men and women think it’s not really possible to manipulate women when they are younger.
The only time a man has the power to manipulate women is when he is in his 30s where used up women are looking to manipulate men to becoming providers for them as a backup plan when they couldn’t lock down one of the men who used them as a cum dumpster when they were younger. So what you can do is counter manipulate this manipulation by not committing to these women trying to use you. Unfortunately most men are desperate as fuck and just marry the first women that shows any interest in them, so they never counter their manipulation.
Performance anxiety coupled with an identity crisis is a tough thing. You know you lured them under false pretenses. Plus your anxiety that if you do “bed” then you will have to uphold a character that isn’t the real you. You sound conflicted, which is reasonable for your age. At 22 (now 35) all I did was play a part. Be yourself and the right person will erode these issues to be nonexistent. If you have to use this superpower to get in a relationship with someone – they aren’t right for you, and further more you don’t deserve them because they are with you under false pretenses.
You are likely a wonderful 22 yo, the right relationship is out there; be vulnerable to the next one you get into – even confess to what you’ve done. Perhaps why they like you has nothing to do with your manipulations. We all skew who we are intentionally or not to impress people we want to be with. Hence the joke, the first dickpic is never actually the one people send. We are all self conscious in some way or another, if you are lucky you’ll find someone that likes you flaws and all.
The part of your brain in these moments is in fight or flight mode. Which means something isn’t right for you, so you flee. Focus on loving yourself for who you are – fuck the rest, it’s just noise and the lies we tell ourselves, or the lies we tell each other.
Men have been shaming one another for generations. We are competitive and we like to be the champions of our conquests. Any single guy will tell you their struggles out there. When it comes to finding a relationship, figure out what matters to you. Then lean in to finding someone who shares and supports your goals.
Best of luck my friend!
>Why do I say all these things to have you feelin’ a way?
>Why do I tell you I’m 30 away if I’m not on the way?
> Why do I settle for women that force me to pick up the pieces?
>…Why do I want an independent woman to feel like she needs me
Title sounds like a Drake lyric
You may have an issue with attachment style, have had an early trauma, something with self-image, or other things. Find a good therapist who specializes in these things. You are pretty young with plenty of time to work on this
If you find a psychologist/psychiatrist who diagnoses you with anything (like a personality disorder) in the first 20 minutes or less, find someone else. It really takes time to uncover the basis of this behavior.
Just remember to not blame yourself please