Gamers in relationships: how do you balance time with your hobby and partner

11 comments

1. Same way as you would with any other hobby. Spend some time together and some time enjoying your own thing. Get into a relationship with someone that has their own interests and can spend the time you are on your games doing something fun for themselves.

2. Scheduling.

3. Find a partner who understands. I told my wife, yah I play a lot of games but would you prefer my “me” time consist of going out to bars, spending tons of money on crappy drinks, getting up to who knows what, and then coming back home wasted or just hanging out here at home?

4. I’ve shifted away from playing games that require my direct attention for long periods of time. Games I can pause or put down at a moments notice are better to play when in a relationship if you want to stay more available to your partner.

   However, I haven’t given up those games entirely. I usually just give my partner a quick warning & say “Hey I’m gonna play a couple games of League. Can I get you anything before I go sit down?”

   I also don’t do game nearly as much as I used to when I was single. Back then, I could spend literally the entire day playing games and it wouldn’t impact my life at all. But now, I’ll dedicate some meaningful time with my wife to watch a show, go to dinner or a coffee shop and just spend time with her so that she doesn’t feel left out when I do want to sit down and play games.

   After being in a relationship for long enough, especially if you live together, you aren’t required to spend all moments of the day with your partner. So having that time away from each other to do your own things are healthy in a relationship. This is how I’ve always thought about it, at least.

   My partner is also really really good with me and doesn’t care if I want to play games all day, but I always try to find that time for her, too. She even started playing some games with me which is super awesome.

5. My wife likes that I play video games. She says it’s nice because I’m home and not out partying or doing any whacky stuff. We have time set aside to be together and time to be apart. It works really well.

6. Easy! We talk about it. **I set my own personal boundaries when it comes to gaming.** But let’s make one thing clear: **I don’t forget to tend to my relationship.** It’s more important than gaming.

   Gaming is a large part of my friendships and family. My brother and I talk about anything and everything while playing Ark, or Conan, or some other game we’ve chosen to pick up.

   My girlfriend knows it is important to me. If we’re having a relaxing weekend, the evening is probably gaming time. We still grab breakfast together, we still make time for each other. She then sits comfortably in her reading chair and reads a book while I game.

   I choose not to game much during the weekdays. And if we do make plans on the weekends, then that is priority as well. I’ll find time to game with my friends or catch up with them via chat on Discord or Steam that’s on my phone.

   Forgetting to tend about the things you care about in life is a problem. Playing games, even long, time consuming ones, doesn’t mean it should consume your full attention.

7. You game with them. My wife is a gamer like myself so we both understand how it can be. If we feel one of us is gaming too hard we just say something and throttle back a bit. It generally happens when a new game comes out. We don’t always play the same games but there are a few that we do play together.

   My ex wife was not a gamer and refused to play any games. She would rather watch TV shows all the time. So I would watch episodes with her from time to time. It wasn’t perfect but it worked most of the time.

8. My wife goes to bed much earlier then me, so a pair of wireless headphones and boom time to game for a bit. Also she is super supportive of all my hobbies

9. We play games together in game date nights along with normal date nights.

10. GF and I live separately. Have a dedicated day of being together.

    I have set scheadule for D&D. The days she isn’t over and I’m home gaming is on the table.

    Otherwise, plan gaming around your schedule. Schedule it in and work your days around it.

    We both can exist in the same room and do our own thing. If she’s reading a book, or studying I can be gaming or listening to vtubers or a podcast.

    Having interests outside of each other is okay ( and imo encouraged ).

11. They’re just computer games. If I have other things to do then I stop playing. It’s not hard.