So a little back story . My girlfriend and I have been together for about 3 years, have stable employment and weren’t getting any younger. Decided earlier in the year we’d like to try for a baby , which happened real fast.
Fast forward to a few days ago. I did the unthinkable and looked through her phone. I won’t go into details why I did it , super big breach of trust, but I did.
Went onto her snap chat and started scrolling up on some men that I presumed were friends . Low and behold I found that she had sent a nude video and pic to this guy back in April. Snapchat timestamped it and the guy saved them in chat . I was pretty heartbroken and upset. She was a couple months pregnant at this time with what I presumed is my child.
So I confronted her about it and it seems our relationship has forever changed. I don’t want to break up with her over this but I’m still so hurt and upset. She told me she doesn’t remember sending it and that he lives in another country. It was a pretty rough week for the most part.
I really don’t know how to move past this or if I can . The obvious thing I imagine is to get a paternity test to see if the baby is mine incase if there is anymore lies. I mean for gods sake we aren’t stupid teenagers anymore doing dumb things. We are grown ass adults that talked about building a house, raising our child and getting married.
I guess I’m just looking to see if anyone has had any similar experiences or advice.
Thanks
8 comments
How does she not remember doing that
Defo get the paternity test
I would definitely recommend getting the paternity test. I would also send myself the proof if I were you, that way if you break it off, you might be able to get a better parenting arrangement.
As for the relationship advice…. Her excuse is that SHE FORGOT???!!! She is lying to you and giving you a glimpse of what your life will be with her. I suggest you leave asap
Paternity test. Not remembering is a standard protocol for a cheater because she only wants to admit it as much as you know.
Can you still trust her? In 10 years, will you find another non-disclosed affair? Sunk cost fallacy, leave now or accept it will be something over your head in the future.
>She told me she doesn’t remember sending it and that he lives in another country
So that, my friend, is what is commonly known as bullshit.
She remembers. And there’s a good chance he doesn’t live in another country – don’t take her word on that.
Paternity test goes without saying. And how can anyone not remember sending nudes, especially being with you and being pregnant with your child? There is usually so much guilt and regret when you cheat or lie to someone you are so close to and it bothers you everyday. The only answer to this would be that she has most likely sent nudes casually to more guys, while being with you.
Think long and hard if you wanna stay with her. Even after getting caught she still wants to lie. Taking a video and sending it is a thought out process, forgetting that she did that is a huge lie to minimize what she did. Paternity test and think long and hard if you wanna stay with her, she’s not really worth it. If the baby is yours it’s better to divorce than to live together miserably which will further hurt the child.
Why tf couldn’t you have figured this out before getting her pregnant? Congratulations, you are now going to bring an emotionally broken child into this world. I can’t believe all of the other commenters are failing to acknowledge that huge fact… This is a 3 person relationship now, not just 2. Unfortunately you don’t have a lot of good options but at this point your child’s feelings are FAR more important than you or your gfs…