Just had my first date with a girl I’ve been talking to. Both of us extremely introverted and had no relationships. I treated it like how I would hang out with my friends. We had fun, but then she said it felt less like a date and more hanging out with a friend and then she asked to hold hands and hug after I dropped her off. Am I on the right track or should I put more effort into being romantic?
22 comments
That was cute!
IMO, dates are for getting to know a person to see if you want to be bf/gf. It doesn’t make sense to me that you would hold hand on the first date–you’re getting to know each other! I wouldn’t force any romance. She probably has the idea that going on dates = immediate romance + chemistry, but that stuff develops over time.
Word you are looking for is playful, not romantic. Be enticing.
“Like hanging out with friends” should be your general attitude towards women, not how you act when you are on an actual date with one.
What she said was …. I want to experience what it feels like in this moment to touch you and to be touched by you
Nope I think you did great! One of the most important aspects of a relationship is getting to know the other person first and it seems like it was a cute first date!
A date isn’t a hangout with friends, so treating them the same lacks social calibration and comes off as socially off-putting. You should definitely be flirting with her more. When you don’t do that it comes off that you lack confidence, lack interest, and don’t create that feeling of attraction.
The best partners are your friend. You did good, just make sure you do things that make your date feel more special than “just a friend”
establishing a friendship is the proper way to build a good romantic relationship
> Am I on the right track or should I put more effort into being romantic?
Yes and no but also no and yes.
The concern is if she doesn’t feel enough romantic interest coming from you she might lose interest herself and friendzone you.
Or, she doesn’t really mind your casualness (perhaps she appreciates the lack of pressure/tension) and you’re developing a wholesome, slow-burn relationship.
Impossible to know.
Just add in saying something like “I’m happy to see you” or “I’m so glad we’re doing this” so that she knows it’s about her specifically, not just another friendly hang sesh
you are suppose to show real sexual interest i, built up “sexual tension” in subtle ways, no directly saying like i want to have sex with you but more like looking at her in the eyes and then the lips repeating several times, touching her, making her laugh, doing bedroom eyes, which I have yet to figure out what the fuck that means lol, and even going for the kiss, seems to me she had interest but you missed that part entirely. Anyway this is from a book a read, lol, I have zero experience with this, chances are she might not give you a second date lol but you can try, consider that a win tho, you at least got the experience, ask more girls and practice, that’s the only way we get better at something, constant repetition.
I think you’re doing fine! I would ask her what she thinks makes it a date. That way everyone is happy and it shows you both can communicate and compromise.
You been friend zoned
Yes. It’s going well. Not many women hold Hans non-romantically.
You need to match and slightly exceed the emotional and physical intimacy she is giving you or else she will think you are not interested in her romantically.
Edit: it would be a good idea to demonstrate that you are romantically interested in the next date. If it goes well ask her to kiss.
Do you live in the US? Dating could be different depending on where you live. I suppose in the US holding hands in the first date would be actually odd. (I don’t live in the USA)
She just wants you to touch or more. Hold her hand, put your arm around her, put ur hand on her thigh etc
I’m sure you both had a great time, what I’d consider a good date to be.
Since it seems both of you are having your first relationship, you both probably have some preconceptions of what a date should be. They’ll pass as you do more stuff with each other.
No. That’s the friend zone
Do something that you won’t/can’t do to a friend! Like holding hands when you are talking, putting your arm around her. Else there’s nothing that will differentiate you from a friend to a romantic partner
Sounds like she felt comfortable and relatable to you! That’s a win! Keep doing what you’re doing and flow
Yowza
You’re doing just fine, remember to talk to her even when you’re not with her, knowing that someone is thinking about you even when you’re not together is a great feeling for anyone. Wish you two the best!
Keep it up and happy cake day, king! 🍰👑
Edit: grammar