Whenever I am talking with other people about them, I have little to no interest in their lives. Even when talking to other people about myself, I have little interest in my own life. Does anyone else experience this?

27 comments

  1. Surprise! Life is boring. The only interesting people are those that are open-minded in thought; people that educate themselves on various subjects and can have engaging conversations.

  2. Sounds like a very introverted thing to feel, also, sounds like you’re highly intelligent and most people with above average intelligent/IQs think like that

  3. I disagree. I find that people are very interesting as individuals but they’re bad at showing it

  4. This is a very negative point of view. Take joy in the small things. Life is the sum of small things

  8. Do you enjoy small talk at all? I think a lot of people like talking about their own lives (family, what they did that weekend, the weather) because it’s relatively inoffensive and is something that most people have in common with each other.

    To have deeper connections with other people I think you would want to have some conversations about common interests (philosophy, values, maybe movies/music), and the chances that you have something in common is less likely but is probably more interesting.

  10. Nope, not in the slightest. People are interesting and you can learn a lot from them. Friends and other people are great.

    Might sound harsh, but you’re probably just not very good at meaningfully socializing. Which is logical if you’ve never found people interesting, you can’t expect to be good at something you never do. It took quite a while of forcing myself into social situations before other people became the great source of positivity they are for me now. I used to only smoke weed and play video games, but those things just aren’t going to develop your character.

    Get out there and develop yourself if the realm of social interactions has things to offer that you want (for me that was mostly women and sex, but now friendships and stuff are amazing as well). Trust that your brain will adapt and learn and get good at whatever you (thoughtfully) do, and then do those things relentlessly. Your current state and identity are transient. Just because “you” “are” “an introvert” now doesn’t mean that’s your destiny or anything. Imagine your future and make it happen. Your life is long and humans are super pliable.

  11. I can relate, OP. Sometimes I genuinely feel guilty for not being able to engage in conversations as well as I’d wish because I have trouble relating, and don’t know how to gauge the other person and their interests. I do believe that it’s possible to be too dismissive of others, because everyone has a unique perspective on life to share that you don’t realize can be very helpful even for yourself if you put forth the effort to actively listen. However, there is also no point in trying to force a conversation with someone who you have trouble getting along with, or finding common ground. But even that is something you discover after some time of actively listening.

    I think a good start is to exercise an open mind, and to explore yourself. Take the time to find out what interests you; experiment with hobbies and see what works for you. Especially limit the time that you spend online. Eventually, if you’re able to find something that is remotely interesting, you can bring that up in your next conversation and see how they respond.

    In the end, conversations *do* require effort and practice, but they’re not always an obligation if you’re able to clarify what your prior beliefs/expectations/motivations are to have them.

  12. That’s depression; one of the foundational aspects of it. Talking with a trained professional can help you find a root cause and possibly a direction to find purpose.

  13. This is actually a psychological symptom.. it could be a chemical imbalance. I recommend going to a Dr. Get blood work done and explain why.

  14. I’m a childfree woman in late middle age. I kind of hate myself for saying this but women bore me a large part of the time. Too much of the conversation goes to kids and grandkids, or we end up sitting there comparing laxatives.

  15. Yes, because they really arent. They literally force themselves to have hobbies, just to have something to talk about. And they outcast you when you are not playing the same make-believe game they are playing.

    It gets even more ridiculous the more you try to force yourself to interact with them. I am now, for example, wasting a total of 22 hours every week on three different hobbies(pottery, football, piano), just so that other people dont find me boring, i barely enjoy any of these things(because they have no practical use, almost none of the “hobbies” do), nor the interactions im having with the people who are impressed by these hobbies.

    And you have to do this, because if you dont they think you are a serial killer or something. “Oh look, he doesnt have any friends, there MUST be something wrong with HIM, because our society is perfectly flawless in the way it has been constructed”.

    ​

    And dont even get me started on the silly jokes you have to keep cracking every 5 minutes to not be perceived as uptight and therefore boring. Lets *never* talk about that.

  16. From my personal experiences, 60% people are just too stupid to have an interesting conversation with, half of the remaining 40% I can usually dumb-down to. No vocabulary is a deal-breaker. This is a sure sign of insufficient vocabulary: “if a word ‘sounds’ like another word, they mean the exact same thing!”, which is often not the case. example: apposition | opposition. A person should be able to define all the words of the [top 20000](https://www.wordandphrase.info/frequencyList.asp) used words in English. And approach 60000 by age 50.

    Also I run this test. solve 123456 ÷ 643 = ?, use long division, check. show all work.

    if they can’t do long division on an integer answer, they probably are outclassing me in stupidity, which is not interesting.

    ——————

    Before getting mad, why is this standard any different from someone saying their candidates for “interesting people” need to be a certain height? (e.g. 6′)

  17. I find that a lot of people are nice and I enjoy talking to them, but they are generally not interesting. The ones that *are* interesting are the ones I fall hard for

  19. I have. It’s very frustrating because I LOVE learning about people & all their differences in perspective.

    I would say look at the people you surround yourself with. I live in an area where people are very shallow, hedonistic, and not too bright. Not only that, but they were happy to dismiss or ridicule others for thinking differently (even if what they were saying was a fact & not an opinion). It’s interesting i guess, but it gets old fast. It was only when I interacted with people from different areas, and older people, that I realized there were people more open about themselves.

    I’m not sure if I grasped your problem correctly, but this might help you. Seek out those who are more likely to have wisdom & something interesting to say. Even if it’s not necessarily older or different places, look for people who have special interests they enjoy.

    EDIT: Also ask yourself what do YOU enjoy? I personally have a curiosity for almost anything & delve into a lot of different topics. Maybe start with finding things you find interesting & go meet people who know more about it. It’s always good to learn from others, and they’re guaranteed to be interesting that way. Of course, you’ll learn more about them & their lives as you go, too.

  21. I think some people are not interesting _for me_, but because I am deeply annoyed by small talk and overall talk just for seeking affirmation from others. I used to be completely inapt to socialize because I just thought everyone was like this. During the years, I figured out that my enemy is precisely the small talk. I find people interesting when the topic of the conversation isn’t bragging (even the subtlest way) about their accomplishments (like, scrolling through instagram and social media alike). I like sharing my views on my topics of interest and getting new perspectives on them (that’s why i like reddit). I know this may sound common, but trust me as an ex anti-social, the entire socializing thing shifted when I started looking for this way to socialize.
    I find I’m very interested in culture, social issues, arts and crafts, and even religion. These are the topics I like to learn the most, be it in academic way or field. For example, it is immensely interesting to me to have penpals and learn about how life is from another country or region. Their details might sound boring but I find them fascinating, so I wouldn’t say i’m not _interested_ in people.

  22. You’re depressed or bordering on serious depression. It’s an illness that makes you self-absorbed and makes you bitter at the idea of socializing.

    It’s amazing how many people in this community in particular have some serious issues with depression and anxiety that could actually be treated if recognized and worked on slowly over time. These conditions do not happen overnight, and they don’t fix themselves overnight. It takes deliberate effort, with help of others, to change the way you think and feel, and then once you start to feel happier with your own thoughts and learn to start appreciating and comforting yourself, you will find that others are more interesting and that sharing back-and-forth emotional connections with others in any capacity becomes enjoyable and rewarding.

    It’s not them, it’s you. It hurts to hear this, you much rather learn that you’re some kind of special personality type or some kind of unique soul who is cursed with true knowledge of the universe etc, etc.

    No, you’re just sad. When you’re happy the universe remains true and real but you don’t hate it and don’t hate the people who share it with you.

    This message will always get pushed back on, but for the large, large number of people (like myself) who have actually made progress managing depression and anxiety and come back from the brink, we will always want people to know that their misery comes from within and can be treated from within, but you likely need help and support to do it. The hardest part is accepting it though, accepting that your brain is an evil trickster that will make up stories to tell you so you feel perpetual shame and discontent because that’s where it’s most comfortable.

  24. “Boredom is a lack of imagination.”- Some famous person.
    Also you are asking the wrong questions. if you are bored by the answers you are getting, you are not asking questions that you are interested in

  25. I think people are interesting—you just have to genuinely want to know more about their lives first.

  26. Not at all, most people are fascinating. I ask a bunch of random questions (I have never done small talk in my life because it’s too boring). Everyone has at least some interesting stories about their lives.

  27. I met an ex CIA spook once. He told me while we were talking geopolitics by dropping a series of riddles on me. Most intelligent man I’ve ever met.

    Works in wal mart electronics. You never know about randos.

    I finally got it because he told me he didn’t get past the CIA internship program after being recruited through the red cross in the 70s because he didn’t speak russian, but the dude low key spoke fluent Russian.

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