Haven’t Had Sex After Many Dates

I’m a 21 year old guy and I recently graduated college and wanted to try and get into an actual relationship now that my life is settling down with work, etc. Though I’ve done casual stuff in the past, I specifically wasn’t searching for a hookup/casual sex when I made Hinge. All the girls I’ve previously been with have been hookups and they aren’t hard to have sex with – but I would say when it comes to relationships, especially with this girl, I have trouble reading cues.

So I basically matched with this girl that’s my age and we hit it off really well and we have a lot in common. Like we’ve been seeing each other every 3-5 days and just talking daily, constantly. She even introduced me to her parents and her mom said she’s super into me, etc. In fact I wanted to respect this girls boundaries because she came out of a seemingly abusive/toxic relationship and I didn’t even kiss her for a bit, and I know this is super weird, but her mom actually texted me saying I should perhaps initiate something further with her daughter (referring to a kiss) if I wanted to be her “boyfriend eventually” and that she really likes me and for the message not to get back to her. This girl is very reserved/shy with her emotions and she’s never done hookups – only has had sex in relationships (she’s had 2 relationships in her life with guys she knew as friends for well over a year before she started dating them). Keep in mind I’ve known this girl for approx. 1 month and 1 weekish (met her Sept 28 for this first time). We make out every time we see each other. She lives with her parents and comes from a very conservative family, like a family that doesn’t believe until sex till marriage, but she’s not prude herself. The family doesn’t allow her to stay the night with guys at all as long as she continues living with them for this very reason. They went on vacation the other day and she spent the night at my place, which she said she’s only ever done with her first ex – we were both very close to having sex after we watched a movie and practically got naked and were grinding on each other, spooning all night, making out, etc. We didn’t, though, and when I made out with her the other night again she texted me to come back after I drove away to “see something”. She just made out with me again and I tried to get her to have sex (without being too aggressive and assuming that’s what she wanted since she texted me to drive all the way back?) but after some hesitation she didn’t want to because her “house was dirty”. She then told me she didn’t have sex with her exes till she knew them for a long time and she’s not into “rushing” for sex. Then she said to me her last ex was not only quite mentally abusive (I believe this because of what she’s showed me), but demanded sex every time he saw her, usually hardcore and against what she wanted, and now she’s promised herself she isn’t going to be manipulated into rushing sex with the wrong person. She has said she’s not prude and obviously she acknowledges the idea of having sex and I made it very clear my sole intent is to not have sex with her, but that it’s something that is essential to every relationship and she agreed. I mean I literally saw this girl again last night and she made me a steam dinner. I know all of this sounds fine, almost great for some, and perhaps I am moving at a good pace with her. But in this day in age, especially with my previous experiences with young women in 2022, shouldn’t we have at least had oral sex or something further by now? I mean like I said meet up and talk a lot, and we’ve even both conveyed emotions for each other. I like her a lot but I don’t want to wait months and months to have sex with her obviously. Basically I just want to know if this is normal and if I should continue the relationship? It could also be me because I’m afraid to push boundaries because she made her stance on sex clear, but it’s so hard to read her. Obviously I know she’s interested and she said she’s not prude but I just don’t know how to proceed really. I don’t want to push every time for sex but I also don’t want to not pick up on cues that she’s perhaps ready, either (like I mistakenly did when I didn’t kiss her and her mom had to let me know lol). And I also know we’ve only been dating for a little over a month now, but we’ve also seen each other A LOT in this small period which makes me think we should be doing more maybe. Or maybe, again, we don’t have to be and I’m over thinking it. Any advice appreciated!