Straight to the point, in Australia most adult dental care is not covered by our country’s medicare. You technically could walk into a hospital and lie about the intense pain, they would put you on the emergency waiting list (2-4 years) but still flip of a coin that would work. So my gf(20) of 1.5 years has pretty bad teeth and really does need a lot of work to straighten and possibly remove one, quoting from different dentists is all over the place, starting from $3000 to $8000. It’s not all my life savings, but rather one year’s worth of my short term savings account ~$3500. The real problem is that this was preventative during childhood but when she was under her father’s care he prioritised smokes and whisky over her health. Now recently he owns a Business that is predicted to have mid-six figure profit per year. But last year during a once in a blue moon dinner with him (rocky relationship now) he ‘offered’ to lend her money to pay for dental appointments (honestly I see that as a bribing attempt to just hold it against her later, as he has done in the past). She is on disability allowance so she doesn’t get much money.
TLDR: So do I just bite the bullet and pay for her care myself, or confront/beg her dad to be generous and not hold it above her head?
Edit: Going overseas isn’t really that viable as neither of us has passports, making it much more expensive. Her teeth are heavily crooked and are pushing into each other, not to the point of agony but still painful and definitely not something that just Invisalign couldn’t fix (like my own teeth).
It is definitely damaging to her self-confidence and mental health. I’m frustrated because she has gotten the short straw in a lot of aspects of her health and life but I just want her to be healthy and not have burden after burden weighing on top of her
Edit 2: Honestly I think I just wanted to have a reason to call out her dad for being a POS her whole life. 99% sure he won’t help so I think i just have to talk her into being okay with me paying, also talk about her saving for some of it too. In the end, I just want the best for her…
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Neither. If she can’t afford it, should should work towards affording it in the future.
Can you demand he pay for it? Can she? It doesn’t sound like he is willing to. So far, he only offered to lend her the money, not to pay for anything. So, it’s not clear what options exist here.
In the US people go to Mexico for inexpensive dental care. Not sure if you could save money by taking a trip to Indonesia or etc.
Medicare should pay for dental!
You shouldn’t feel obligated to pay for your girlfriends health needs. If you had said your wife that would be a different story.
Most dentist have some financing plan to help pay for expensive procedures. If she’s on disability, they might have a plan that helps cover dentistry. Also as someone else mentioned, you could look into other countries that might have cheaper procedures.
“bad” teeth like theyre crooked or “bad” teeth like theyre rotten and they hurt her?
if its just cosmetic – thats a different story.
Is it an aesthetic thing or is she in physical pain?
I mean, have you asked her what she would prefer? It also depends on how easy it is for her father to hold it against her/what that looks like.
It is both a lot of money and not, in some ways. And the effect of it is tangible. What do you actually want to do? Because you’re not obligated to do it, but if you want to do so and are financially sound enough to do so, just go for it.
There isn’t really a “right” answer here.
I’m not really sure why you should pick up the bill for your girlfriends dental issues.
Is she in pain, or are the issues purely cosmetic? Does she have her own plan for paying for them?
You are, naturally, free to spend your money on anything you like.
What does she want?
“I love you, but I cannot afford to pay for your dental care”
How she covers her care is her business, not yours. I’m in my relationship for a lot longer than you’ve been in yours, and even then I wouldn’t consider throwing thousands of dollars at her dental care.