What are the differences dating women in their 20s vs 30s vs 40s?

30 comments

  2. Women in their twenties tend to be more optimistic, as they still have most of their life ahead of them. They’re not as jaded when it comes to dating. However, they may not be super mature, and they may be more entitled.

    Women in their 30s have matured a bit, and may potentially be better company. However, there’s also a lot of them who are in a rush to have a baby ASAP.

    Women in their 40s who are single either tend to be the rejects that nobody wanted for decades, or they’re coming off a fresh divorce bitter and in rebuild mode. Not a great dating pool.

  5. Maybe it’s me, but…I feel like if you date a woman in her 20’s a good majority of them(not all) have a “let’s go do some clubbing/super outgoing stuff” mindset. Women in their 30’s are a bit more low key, and like to do stuff here and there, but it isn’t very bombastic and a big deal. And, a woman in her 40’s would probably be more family oriented…wanting to settle down/already be in that settle down phase.

  6. 20s: More energetic, more fun, less pressure to commit, less cynical, more games (playing hard to get, shit tests, etc), more entitled in terms of attention, gifts, etc.

    30s: Settling down, pressure to get married and have kids ramping up. If you’ve been dating for more than a year, expect an ultimatum any day now. She’s getting less attention from men and starting to feel it. Could also be child-free or had kids already. These last two groups are more similar to:

    40s: This can be divided into multiple categories. Never had kids or been married. Married and divorced (almost certainly has kids). These are two very different groups and deserve their own sections, but for what they have in common: more cynical, but more direct and fewer games. Less energy. You’re going to be at IKEA more than you’re at music festivals. She’s probably struggling to lose the 40+lbs she put on in her 20’s and 30’s.

  9. In her 20s there’s the best chance she’s sleeping with other men too. But less chance of having children. Hottest, least damaged with the least amount of emotional baggage.

    In 30s there’s a best chance she has young children you’ll be raising and you’ll never be her #1. But better chance of loyalty. Better chance of having been heartbroken a few times and having more baggage.

    And in her 40s there’s the best chance she’s done with the games and her children are grown. And also a good chance of loyalty again. Better chance of having sorted out the baggage already.

  10. **20s:** Generally optimistic and fun loving. They are essentially at the peak of their power/options in life and if you want to settle down, many of them aren’t ready for it. There is also a power asymmetry in place where the woman feels like there are better options around the corner and doesn’t want to miss out. Monkey Branching is way too common and can really mess with a guy’s head.

    **30s:** Single women in their 30s often have some measure of trauma and cynicism. Many of them don’t understand why they are unmarriageable even if it’s pretty obvious to men. Others have matured from their previous experiences, are a lot more serious and ready for something serious and healthy and they have sort of hit their stride across many parts of their lives. Women who are marriageable have more grounded and realistic expectations by their 30s. Women at this age group I find play a lot of messed up games and are less ethical in the way they approach dating.

    **40s:** Some simultaneously bring less to the table and expect more than at any other point in their lives. Others are desperate and disappointed by this point. Women who have dated a lot, but never found anyone by this age I sort of view as lost causes and it’s not a pleasant thing to see. I think their pain is real/valid, even if sometimes self-inflicted. Divorces and widows are generally the best people to date at this age tbh.

  11. I feel pretty qualified to chime in here. I’m 37, and in the last two years I’ve dated someone in their 40’s, someone who is 28, and two people in their early to mid 30’s.

    28 – Did not have their shit together and was very indecisive. I felt like I had to make all the decisions and at the end of the day she left me without warning, taking my job with her. Sex was…..eh, good head game but that was about it

    30’s – Pretty decent actually, they were more so in the same area of life as me and had their minds made up about kids, family etc. This is the age group I’m looking to date moving forward while in my 30’s

    40’s – Really good, had their shit together also and were set in their career, great in bed as they had that experience and all around a good time. Didn’t work out with us but I would consider it again in the future

  12. 20s: complete pain in the ass. Way too self centered.

    30s: Freaking out over age, looking for a baby daddy.

    40s: Screw kids, just want fun sex.

  13. 18: Blind and hot
    20: Naive and fun
    25: Naive and feisty
    30: Sexy and interesting
    35: Thriving and intimidating
    40: Alluring and intimidating
    45: Mysterious and alluring
    50: Need more information

  15. 20’s awesome and she is hot. Less likely to be a single mom and have bad credit. Less likely to have emotional damage from past relationships.

    30s. If she’s not fat by now Less likely to get fat later. However the stats are out that she is definitely by this time one of or all: single mom, divorced. Overweight.

    40s: biological clock ran out. Definitely divorced, a single mom, and/or fat at this point. If she isn’t fat by now she probably never will be. If she is a single mom they are likely getting ready to leave the house soon or at least are independent enough to not need baby sitting.

    So basically 20s>30s>40s, which is about what dating stats show for desirability anyway.

  16. To the men in the comment section that are saying women become jaded in their 30s & 40s, have y’all thought that perhaps the reason a woman becomes jaded is because of men? There’s a reason why women become jaded

  17. In your 20s, you want them & they dont want you

    In your 30s, they want you & you dont want them.

  18. Totally honest moment here, Im a 23 year old virgin (With women at least 😛 ) But i have found myself mostly atteracted to older women, I have worked with younger women and tried to make a move but each time i get confronted with things about my own age group like Tik Tok etc. and i just can not understand it all, To me the idea of a 35 Plus woman just seems miles better, Like a woman who actualy has some expieriance with men rather than younger women speculating about how most guys are this or that. I just want either a good time or a long time, Cant be arsed with any bullshit in between :L

  19. 20s- malleable to close friends and the media they consume. Young and dumb phase prone to making rash decisions. Chasing pretty boys and bad boys.
    30s- Less materialistic than 20s, ‘Been there done that’ mentality and have already had their fun, ready to settle. Matured and know what they want out of life. Dating to marry.
    40s- Similar to 30s. But, likely have been through many failed relationships and have past trauma, and likely kids. Not looking to rush anything but they have a deep wish to be loved and constantly remanence on their past decisions.

  20. 20’s: annoying but checks all the boxes for a healthy mate.

    30’s:you dont exist to men.

    40’s: you dont exist to men.

  21. 20: hot, fun to be around. You have to be cool and she expects you f her brains out.

    30 : bitter and want a provider, rather than a good lover.

    40: cynical or she gets over and understands it’s a man game now

  24. 20s want a man to take care of them, 30s want a man to be a daddy, and 40s looking to take care of a man

  25. Me: am 31. Will be making somewhat broad strokes so as to point out the general similarites.

    22-32ish: infantile, self-absorbed, and entitled as a rule of thumb. Will throw you away at the drop of a hat. The world is her oyster and fuck everyone else (not that kind of fucking). Sex quality varies widely. Mostly boring/fish, with a few random fun ones.

    33ish-40: If still without child, usually indecisive about it while subtly pressuring you about it as if it was your choice to decide for her (but not directly, only in wishy-washy weird ways that are extremely confusing). Sex is usually better and she has preferences.

    40s: mostly over having kids, usually easy to talk to about heavy life stuff without it getting weird. Sex is banging.

    late 40s early 50s: Dating is shockingly straightforward compared to the younger groups, and holy fuck what a freak in bed.

    In conclusion, it’s a shame that women don’t “grow up” in these ways sooner as we could be having way better times together overall. Such is life I guess.

  26. “20s tastes a little tangy. 30s is kinda sour, and 40s tastes pretty good.” -Ricky

  27. As always, please remember this is a small sampling of the entire population’s opinion and reality. Everyone has different experiences with different people and everyone has different dating preferences.

  29. I hated my 20’s…I was totally insecure and a people pleaser. Dated guys who disrespected me and abused me. Zero self-esteem. 30’s…I had my awakening and grew a pair…40’s…let’s just say I don’t give a thought to what anyone thinks of me anymore. I’m finally at peace, confident and enjoying my journey here on earth.

  30. 20s – self exploration, openness, intensity of emotion, relationships have sharper arcs and shorter durations, attraction is mostly about looks and chemistry.

    30s – looking for quality partners, emotional walls are up because they’ve had their heart properly broken at least once, more suspicious of intense feelings, relationships have lots of false starts, slower to commit but then committing fully, ready to make massive life changes for the right guy, attraction is based on compatibility, status, and how well you fit into their plan (if they have one).

    40s – looking for an ideal, typically unwilling to settle unless they’re really lonely, financially reliant or struggle to date, carrying a lot of baggage, often single due to not exercising solid relationship options while they were younger or divorced, either way they have a love/hate relationship with the idea of needing men in any way, emotionally mature but leaning towards coldness, quick to dismiss potential partners, have an expectation you’ll fit around their life and not take up too much space, they’ve seen enough to wonder if a loving, trusting relationship is even possible, attraction is based on being truly compatible, not being overly demanding, and bringing something to the relationship that they don’t currently have access to.

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