[Need Advice] I accidentally objectified someone I know and care about a lot. His brother pulled me up on it which I’m grateful for; how do I regard people I like in healthier/less creepy ways? I’m a pretty sheltered person and I want to be better at socialising/expressing myself socially.

1 comment

1. ***The conversation:***

   **B:** It is not a nice way to behave towards anyone you know, especially not if they’ve rejected you

   Weird to objectify your friends

   **Me:** Yeah fair, I didn’t mean for it to come across that way, my bad

   In all seriousness I’m not friends with him with any kind of weird intentions in mind

   Or any of my friends for that matter

   **B:** You didn’t mean for “openly staring and lusting after someone while they try and live their life” to come across that way?

   **Me:** I dunno, I guess in my brain it was just a silly meme I suppose; no, my intention wasn’t objectification like “I don’t respect this person’s autonomy and I find objectifying people funny”

   But I appreciate that you let me know that’s how it came across, I prefer it when people communicate with me properly haha

   Apologies, I guess I didn’t properly think about it before making/sending, and I can see what you mean now. I mean, I’d be upset if someone I was uninterested in made/said that about me

   Thank you for explaining

   [I then said I hope he enjoyed the movie he was watching]

   **B:** I think it’d be inappropriate regardless of whether someone was interested or not

   **Me:** I agree, I don’t really know what else to say though

   I just made it quickly without thinking and I see what you do now that you’ve explained it, and I feel ashamed

   I do not see [A] as just a piece of ass, or anyone honestly even though I kind of joke about being pan and seeing attractive things in people, but especially him

   My feelings are my own problem as well I know, not his, and that’s why I’ve never brought the matter up again to him

   **B:** Look fair enough, as long as you’re aware of it.

   ***Fin ~***