I talked to a pretty girl at the gym months ago. Everything was going ok. We didn’t talk much but we shared some moments together like helping her with her weights or using the same machine. A little bit of chitchat.
After a while I decided to invite her to a cafe. Nothing fancy just to get to know her. She declined the 3 times by using a very weak excuse.
Because she is very beautiful I got a sense that she likes men at her feet and I was like “fuck it, that won’t be me. I still got some dignity”.
She let me on seen several times on Instagram and I don’t use it that much so I decided to close it.
It has been I while since I’ve seen her again but when I did, she never turned around to say “Hi” like before. And even when I approached her she did the “looking the other way around thing” and I wasn’t going to play her mind games.
Next time when I see her should I tell her that what is going on? (Maybe she thinks that I close my profile because I got mad at her but at the same time I don’t want to be seen as the very intense guy. We barely know each other), should I say hi and leave (with or without a short light hearted conversation like nothing happened?) or should I say nothing and keep on moving? (I still think that she is very beautiful and don’t want to pass this great opportunity).
12 comments
She turned you down three times? Please leave her alone.
No it isn’t that. It’s that she’s at the gym to work out, and she probably gets hit on by men ALL THE TIME due to her beauty. But women like to be valued for who they are as a person, not just their beauty, so as a result they tend to date people who’ve taken the trouble to get to know them first.
Now with this invitation (in triplicate?) things have turned awkward and she’s avoiding you.
So no, don’t keep pushing it. Just be polite and let it be.
She’s not interested in u anymore unluko
It’s not an opportunity.
It’s not that she likes men at her feet. It’s that she only wants to be with the men she wants to be with, like anybody else. She’s not an NPC in your game, she’s a real person living her own life.
Just treat her decently, like you would anyone else. There’s nothing happening there.
Bro, you should have stopped talking to her after she turned you down the first time. If she was interested she would have made room in her schedule for a date.
Sweetheart, she might think you’re a bit creepy. She changed her mind and I think you should mind your own business, especially at the gym. I want to be left alone when I exercise, too. If she turned you down 3 times in person and leaves you on seen, she just isn’t into you. And all you mention about her is that she is beautiful. That’s really shallow.
Heya, props to you for socializing and even trying to ask someone out!
But unfortunately, I think you might have viewed her differently at least from what you’ve offered. In no way has she mislead you when she declined three times. If she actually likes men at her feet, she’d try to talk to you etc. You “moments” are nice, but sometimes thats all there is to it — being nice. That’s okay too!
Hope you get someone more receptive next time, but yeah as others have mentioned, the gym usually isn’t a great place, but you never know until you ask — and you did and got your answer.
As a women myself, you’re making her uncomfortable and you should leave her alone. She’s not attracted to you. I’ve had something similar happen many times, a man is friendly and i think it’s an innocent friendly chat, when in reality their trying to get a relationship/ sex out of it. It really sucks. You should have left her alone the first time she rejected you. But 3 times and your still not sure?!?!! Yikes dude.
I think, firstly, everyone else is right. Unless she initiates contact, you need to back off. It almost seems like you are pushing too hard, on the verge of being creepy.
In a broader sense, you have to understand the difference between being interested in dating and interested in making acquaintances/interesting connections. You could have learnt this lesson at the first no, treated it as a non-issue and moved on being back to acquaintances. But at this point of time, it seems as though going back on that would be super hard.
PS: I am not necessarily extra beautiful or anything, but I go to the gym almost everyday, so people do talk to me often. I have to say, I try my best to be polite when someone talks to me. I am not the type of person who presumes bad intentions – but if you give me even a little reason to do that, you are going to be on my radar to avoid interaction if possible.
Leave her alone and move on, she doesn’t owe you anything and you don’t either, so just move on with life, there are plenty of other girls out there
There is no opportunity here.
my guy she turned you down THREE TIMES. you are an intense guy, you are borderline stalking her.
she is not an “opportunity” she is a PERSON who has made it abundantly clear she is NOT interested in you. The only reason she does the “looking the other way” instead of yelling at you is because she is scared of you