What are the alterrnatives to going no contact after breaking up/being broken up with someone you love?

12 comments

1. Staying in contact?

2. Maybe take them off your social media and only engage with them when you are texting or seeing them directly so that it won’t be a constant reminder.

   No contact also doesn’t have to be permanent, it’s to help you move on from them while it hurts the most – you can always reach out later.

3. [removed]

4. The alternative is to stay in contact, which comes with a few bonus perks! Namely, not being able to move on, crying uncontrollably a little too often, and the best one: eventual animosity (because of jealousy, resentment, incompatibility as friends…). Frankly, exiting that person’s life is the only healthy option and when you’ve had some distance then you can reevaluate rekindling a relationship as friends.

5. If you can *both* handle it emotionally, you can stay friends. It frequently doesn’t work. It’s really best to take some time to create space between each other, and if you both end up in the headspace where you can be in contact again, you can do that at some point.

6. Friends with benefits only? 🤣

7. Staying in contact but that will almost always end with resentment.

8. Really whatever works for both of you. My ex-wife and I are still best friends after breaking up years ago.

9. Staying in contact. That could be as friends, co-parents, acquaintances who share overlapping friend groups, just checking in every once in a while on birthdays, whatever works for you. If you’re my mum you could end up marrying his much nicer brother and occasionally see him at family events for the rest of your life! (Though tbf she was never remotely in love with my uncle and they did not date for longer than a few months)

   All in all I think having some form of contact with an ex is probably more common than having none at all. Which makes sense seeing as your lives tend to get pretty enmeshed when you date someone

10. Leaving a crack open in your heart for them to prey themselves in and break it all over again.

11. The alternative would be to stay in touch, of course.

    But this only works if you can both let go of resentment, behave yourselves, and refrain from jealousy when/if either/both of you find new partners.

    I’m not a fan of going no contact, personally. Even if an eventful friendship doesn’t form, even if the *eventual* result is that we no longer remain in touch, I prefer a slow drifting-away as it lets resentments fade naturally.

12. You can slowly tear away from them, doesn’t mean you have to fully go no contact, just some space so no one gets hurt anymore.