Now I wouldn’t really consider myself to be an overly romatic or insecure person. Not that I’m the exact opposite either. But you see, I’ve come to realize that when I have affectionate female friends I start to get attached (not on the level of infatuation, but I feel myself drifting off the path of strictly platonic). I know I don’t have a crush on them, and I am pretty sure that none of them have a crush on me. It’s just the way they talk. My kryptonite is the bubbly, cheerful girl who gives compliments freely and chats frequently. Those types really bypass my armor, and get me to overthink, make me grow attached etc. So how do I deal with this?
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It sounds like you already realize that they’re friendly and effusive people, and aren’t flirting with you. So there you go – just keep that in mind as you’re talking to them. Don’t grow attached to a person you’re imagining might be there, become friends with the person who is actually there.
I can totally understand why. I would love to spend time with a good looking, kind, charismatic person who is cheerful and gives me compliments.
I think a good reminder might be to gauge how they test others as well. Are they showing you special treatment, or do they treat everyone ethos way? Might be a good way to tell how they consider you.
Why do you see it as a bad thing? It sounds like something that would help increase your dating pool.
If you are “drifting off the path of strictly platonic”, then that means you are developing romantic feelings for them. Romantic feelings are, to a certain extent, something one indulges in.
My advice would be to stop thinking about this “drifting off the path” element and just enjoy being with them. My guess is that you are indulging in these daydreams as a way to increase the feelings of eros because you enjoy feeling romantic, or desired, or whatever it might be.
At the heart of it, it seems like you’re saying “I become attracted to women who are friendly and show interest in me.” If that is the case, then you need to do some self-reflection to understand why that may be occurring, since you’ve intimated here that you don’t want these feelings to occur (at least not as often as they are).
Like talking to nice people is a nice feeling. I’d say don’t interpret the situation as any more than it is and just enjoy being excited to see a friend
You can’t be 100% platonic with women you are attracted to. All you can really do is take a step back when it happens.