Straight off the batt, I suffer from peripheral neuropathy (CMT disease – it obviously affects my peripheral nervous system, primarily my legs but it’s progressive and degenerative. I will never improve. I am recovering from my 6th lower limb surgery as we speak).
My girlfriend is insanely hot to me, she is my 10 and stimulates me in ways I’d never imagined. My issue is I can’t rely on my old fella to either stay up, or even come to the party at all. I just spent 30-40 minutes doing everything but penetrative sex with this gorgeous woman. I was mentally there, but physically I was in another country. It’s shit because immediately prior to entering the bedroom I was ready to go. Started off with me giving her a nice oiled up back massage and then my member left the building. I had taken a Cialis earlier, something I do from time to time just in case but I can’t rely on them. I’m not even sure if they do what they are meant to for me tbh. Sometimes I can go for hours with no stimulants required and when that happens its amazing. I feel it’s mostly in my head where the problem lies, but I don’t know how to crack my into my psyche where my ability to get my physical self to play ball with my mental self lies. I’m under no pressure from my GF to come to the party, she is amazing in that department, she puts no pressure on me but I put it on myself. I just want my gear to work how it should, I know in my head that it isn’t my physical issue that’s the main issue, it’s mostly mental but how do I get my brain to get there? It’s demoralising, and it’s weighing down on me which I know plays into my mental state of mind for the next time. It’s performance anxiety at its finest but meds don’t work, and I don’t know how to tell my brain that it doesn’t matter to her, so I don’t have anything to lose.
I just can’t get my brain to convince my dick that you just need to be in the moment. How the fuck do I take the weight of my own self sabotage out of the equation?
This post is half asking for help and half just an outlet for my frustrations
Tldr: my brain wants to fuck, my body is meh 😔
2 comments
I suggest her or you random touching richard. When Richard begins to awake, time to play and emphasise the importance of continuity of arousal and not being required to think, discuss, plan or do anything mental. When its on its on, go for it and both be prepared to go for it when richard shows up to the party.
Had an ex with this difficulty. It was all in his head, and Viagra didn’t work because of that. So there’s probably nothing wrong with your dick.
I think you need to stop focusing on your worries about getting erect and have a few enjoyable sexual experiences again. After that happens enough times, you’ll feel more confident and have less performance anxiety.
So maybe you could have just enough alcohol before sex to help you stop worrying? Or depending on your location, enjoy some (legal) weed? Both might help you get out of this mental rut and rebuild your confidence.