TLDR; I can’t satisfy my gf’s sexual drive and I feel guilty about it.
We been going on and off for about 4 years now. Great chemistry, we like the same things, we do the same things. Cook together, sleep together, smoke weed and laugh together. The thing is, she craves for sex every day and I don’t. I honestly could go for weeks without even feeling horny with her.
The weird thing is, she is super hot at least for my standards, she embraced all my fetishes and kinks, I did the same with her, we’ve done it all. We always felt comfortable with each other to try and experiment new things along the way.
I just don’t feel like having sex with her. I’d rather masturbate her until she orgasms or something like that but I feel like that’s wrong. She would pick up on my lack of interest, I dont know.
I feel so guilty, I love her but I can’t seem to satisfy her sexual needs anymore, not because our sex has gone cold, because I don’t feel like having sex at all.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
14 comments
I’ll fuck her for u
No need to feel guilty in this situation! Perhaps your drive is just way lower than her, and theres no shame in that. Also sounds like you’re still very interested in her, and just because you don’t want PIV, you still brought up other ways to satisfy her needs.
Have you thought about sitting down and talking this out with her? It’s usually good to discuss these things with your partner.
Hope everything works out okay!
My man might want to get your hormones checked out. Low libido, from low testosterone/high estrogen levels, could potentially be a cause for this. Hormone levels are a big thing in both men and women when it comes to almost everything in life (sex, sleep, energy levels). Just an idea
I would suggest figuring this out. Sex isn’t just about orgasms, it’s about emotional intimacy. It’s about connection with the person you love. If you’re not going to provide her with emotional intimacy eventually it’s going to ruin the relationship. So if she’s as important to you as you say she is… you might want to figure this out somehow.
If this is new it may be a hormonal imbalance, but if you’ve always felt this way (about anyone) you may be on the asexual spectrum. Definitely go to a doctor to get checked out at first because this could be a relatively easy fix.
Are you sure you’re actually attracted to her?
This isn’t a case of you not being able to satisfy her. This is a case of you having a low libido, either in general or just for her.
Do you actually see this as a problem that needs to be fixed, like do you want to have a drive for sex with her?
Nothing wrong with getting her off like that when you don’t want to do the whole thing. Sometimes the whole process of sex and performing can be too daunting/tiring.
If you *never* want to have sex with her that’s something else and nothing reddit can do to solve that for you. Gotta look inside for that one.
If you are addicted to porn/masturbation, this could play an immense part in things. I see this more and more these days with women begging for sex in a relationship but the guy would rather look at porn and jerk off than have sex.
If this applies to you, OP, I would get help. Join a support group, find an accountability partner who can help you control your addiction. Abstain from porn and masturbation. If your sex drive still doesn’t return, then look into other factors as mentioned by other people in this thread.
Check out the Tao of Sexology, The Multi-Orgasmic man and Orgams.
Is this how you’ve always felt? Cuz if not than your hormones might be outta wack or you or her did something that’s given you a sort of mental block you could look into if not your hormones. If you’ve always felt this way idk what to tell you but talk to her about it so she doesn’t go crazy thinking she’s was the cause of it at least.
Are you on any ssri meds?
Kidney failure, erectile dysfunction, low energy, std, stress, no affection in relationship, or her sex is wack
Stop wanking off.
It sounds like you find her physically attractive but don’t enjoy sex with her for whatever reason. You’re not sexually compatible for the long term.