My partner and I are in our 20s. In my opinion our sex life is desperately lacking and causing strain on our marriage.
I have tried so many things to improve it and im just at a loss now. Some of those things are. Bring up the conversation in a calm and healthy way asking if there is anything I can do, I have tried asking and not asking, I have asked about opening our marriage, I have tried dressing up, making sexy games, showers and just full on going for it.
Sex and physical touch/intimacy is important to me. It’s how I feel love and show love. I feel hideous, unattractive and everything else under the sun. I am starting to pull away from out marriage which isn’t what at all.
I understand my needs shouldn’t surpass their comfort. But I truly don’t thinking I should be begging my partner for sex in my 20s .
Any advice would be wonderful.
3 comments
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My partner isn’t the touchy type of person and I can somewhat relate to this in a way. In ways it can depend from what happened to them or it can span to things like sensory issues and even just not being touchy some people aren’t just like that. But if thats something you feel is important to you than you gotta weigh out the costs and the rewards. I personally like my girlfriend not being very touchy although I’m also a intimacy/touchy person because it’s very reassuring and sometimes it’s nice to enjoy the time of her presence when it’s not just her feeling on me. I really like your post because it reminds me of me when I started dating my current partner. I’ve started to enjoy the smaller things like when she asks me if I want tea or if she wants me to help her make cookies. Even better when she gets nerdy. My best advice to give is to look deeper into your partner to learn what else you can enjoy together or that just maybe you need something different. I hope you found this helpful and I hope you the best. – B
Is it possible? Sure. Anything is *possible* in a relationship. That’s the wrong question to ask.
The more relevant question would be whether it’s reasonable to expect to overcome mismatched sex drives and, in my experience, the answer is overwhelmingly no. You hit the nail on the head…it’s about your needs and their comfort and they’re both equally important. That’d why these mismatches are so hard. But you have to meet each other in the middle and that can be hard to sustain over the long term.