I love my bf very much and he ytwats me wonderfully but I don’t know why but I never liked sex. It makes me feel uncomfortable. When I feel his penis sliding in and out of me I pretend to enjoy it but it wither hurts or feels like nothing. There are times where I think to myself why women even have sex because it feels like nothing or it hurts and I bleed. I use a lot of lube to make it seem like I’m aroused for him. He doesn’t eat me out (I told him I think the idea is repulsive) so he can’t really see if I’m actually wet or not. My last bf when I told him I didn’t actually like sex I just pretended to for him and he said he didn’t really mind or care as long as I wasn’t hurting. I broke up with him because he cheated on me. Now I have my new bf who loves me and takes care of me but now I just don’t know if I should tell him? I feel abnormal for hating sex. It’s not like the, “Most people like pizza but not everyone does” comparison. Sex is supposed to be liked and as a woman what’s my purpose if I can’t enjoy sex. Idk if I should tell my bf or not. I haven’t really told him yet because I don’t see it as a big deal and I don’t think he would care.
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Some individuals simply do not enjoy sex. They are called asexuals, and it is one category of human sexuality (along with heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual, pansexual, etc.) Some do not even feel romantic feelings; these are called aromantic asexuals. I recommend having an honest and open conversation with your partner because sexual compatibility is important for a successful relationship and incompatibility might lead to problems down the line.
I think you should see a therapist because you seem to have some internalized feelings of inadequacy and I think you should work on accepting that your experience is nothing to be ashamed of.
I honestly recommend seeing a doctor, specialist in that field. Especially if you feel aroused and sexually attracted to him, but the problem is being uncomfortable or feeling nothing when you have sex. It may either be a psychological or physical problem (or both).
I honestly advise you to seek medical help first, before you jump to wrong conclusions
You need to be honest and tell him because eventually you are going to look at it him with disgust. And you should never do it if you Dnt want to if it doesn’t turn you on. Also you need to figure out why you dnt like having sex. Ive learned from experience if you have sex and you like it. You will never have a meaningful relationship.
Do you feel sexual pleasure during foreplay? It’s not crazy to not be enjoying penetrative sex, but that means you don’t like one kind of sex, not all sex in general. Have you tried playing with the clit? Anal stimulation? Massages? G-spot stimulation? Do you masturbate? Do you fantasize?
If he’s just ramming himself in and out then I’m not surprised that you don’t enjoy it.. like I said, there is more to sex than vaginal penetration.
Please tell him especially if sex and touch are important to him. Over time it can cause problems to have mismatched libidos.
I think what’s missing here is – do you _want_ to like sex? Or do you wish you didn’t have to have it? If you could wave a magic wand what would you change about this situation?
If you want to like it, I think it’s also relevant to ask if you have solo sex and can feel pleasure & have orgasms alone? If not, that’s your first order of business. Good sex needs good communication and you can’t communicate what you need and want without knowing your own body.
I became sexually active at 18 and didn’t really like sex until I was about 24. So I definitely have been where you are, I felt like sex is this boring thing I have to do to please my boyfriend, it’s a waste of time and I’d rather read a book. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
I think you should tell him. He should be aware that in the future he will very likely have a dead bedroom.
Communication is really important. Personally, I would really want my partner to tell me if they didn’t enjoy sex. Maybe you guys can figure out your sexuality and make it fun for you? Maybe you are asexual (which is totally fine too) – check with your doctor first because you come to that conclusion though. If you think your issues are more psychological (not being able to let lose, shame, etc.) a sex therapist might be good as well. Good luck out there! 🙂