I’ve been with my boyfriend/ex for almost 3 years.
He had cheated on me once and I gave him another chance. Then one night he asked if he could go drink with his friends, which I didn’t allow since he was still sick and of course I don’t trust him and his friends. I held onto his phone so he wouldn’t go, but he still went and left his phone behind. He never let me see his phone without him around and he didn’t know I’ve seen his password. I opened the phone and went to all his messages and I found out he cheated on me more than once. When I learned about his first cheating I asked him if there’s more and he said only one time. I felt betrayed again so I packed all my belongings. He came home really drunk and I confronted him about it, I read to him the messages and he said “this is why I don’t like you going to my stuff” then he slapped my face 3 times that the last slap I hit my head on the wall, more if I didn’t back away from him. he then started to kick me, then he kicked my dog. I grabbed my things, but he didn’t stop. he grabbed my things and threw everything at me. I managed to get my things out of his apartment into the stairs. He followed me and picked up my thing and threw it on the lower lever, he even threw my dog which was in her cage down 2 flight of stairs. Then he kicked me which caused me to fall down the stairs as well. I managed to get all my belongings outside and waited for the uber. He was still behind me inside the building while I waited for the uber. I got home to my parents and told them the next day.
I cannot believe what had happen, up until now I am still processing why he did that. I knew him as a sweet, kind, and caring person to everyone. I cannot wrap in my head that he was able to do that to me.
I’m leaving him because he crossed the line. but I still miss and think about him. it this normal?
10 comments
Yes thats normal. But you seriously need to file a police report and get a protective order in place. And you need to do it now, the longer you wait the worse it looks on you. As for the thoughts, anytine you miss him think about how he treated you and what he did to your poor dog, and never give into that tempation to go back to him.
It’s definitely normal to miss people you were close to even if they treated you badly. But you deserve so much better than someone who hits you and kicks you. You can work through your grief with friends or a therapist, but remember to be gentle with yourself – you’ve been through something that would be incredibly traumatic for most people. And if you start thinking about going back to him because there were some good times, ask yourself, if you had a little sister who told you her ex boyfriend had done these things to her, would you tell her she should consider going back because there were good times?
Take care of yourself OP.
Toxicity level 3000
I’m glad you’re leaving him and make sure you never, ever go back. This jerk will seriously hurt you if not outright kill you.
OP, file a police report as the comment stated above ASAP.
Being in love will cloud your judgement. It’s normal for you to miss him but have some self respect. He does NOT love or respect you and he will never change. Dump him and move on. Commit yourself to a NC. Block him on all front if you have to (my ex cheated on me twice, did this and he still stalked me on LinkedIn )
It will hurt like a bitch but I promise you, it will get better. Allow yourself to feel all the emotions too. I cried myself to sleep, cried randomly throughout the day, felt like an idiot, felt angry at myself, and sang my heart out to break up songs. Learn to love yourself again and the universe will do the rest.
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It’s normal to mourn what you thought was a good person and a good relationship. But under no circumstances let yourself convince yourself that that good person and relationship actually ever existed. The true him, the abuser, the one who would hurt you, your pet and guaranteed any children you ever had with him, is the true face.
It’s very normal to miss what you thought you had. Just keep in mind you’re missing a lie, and that there’s no reality of that to ever go back to.
Report this to the police. Get a protective order. Protect yourself, and your dog. Don’t ever, ever think that he is worth going back to.
Leave. Immediately. I am so sorry you faced this babygirl. Please. Please. Protect yourself and protect your angel baby dog. Run as fast as you can and don’t look back. You deserve a love as deep as the ocean. Do. Not. Setlle. For. This. Bullshit. God/whatever you believe in doesn’t want this for you. You did the best thing for yourself. Its normal you are mourning the person you THOUGHT he was. You deserve the world Do not accept anything less. One day you will find your person. Hang in there and heal.
Press charges and get a restraining order.
dump him! slapping and kicking leads to very much worse PERMANENT treatment to you. if you know what i mean. you say you still miss and think about him, just remember the slapping and kicking that he did to you! you deserve much better young lady, and the right man is out there waiting for you! just go find him!