I tend to consider the worst case, so for example, a coworker adopted a kitten. I was afraid of asking just in case the cat didn’t make it and it made my coworker feel bad. At the end I asked and the cat was fine.
In a similar way, if a guy tells me he was going on a date, I’m not sure if asking him how it went next time I see him would make him feel a bit bad. Or if meet a couple at an event an next time I one see one of them, if I ask about their partner and they broke up it might make me a downer.
I also try not no mention grandparents/parents in case they are dead and it brings them sad memories.
Or asking Ukranians refugees about their country. I dont know if they prefer to disconnect. Although the ones I met I think they are ok talking about it.
Asking about how their university exam is easier, because it’s not something that significant even if they failed.
Rationally, I think it’s usually better to ask:
1) Even if the answer is negative, people usually like to talk a bit about it.
2) If they don’t want to talk, they can say it and it’s not my responsability if they feel bad.
Is this reasonable? I don’t have 100% engrained, so any feedback is welcome.
1 comment
Usually you can ask that sort of question, but then just be aware of how the person answers it. If they don’t want to talk about that subject they’ll keep the answer short, and maybe change the subject or toss it back to you. If they’re interested they’ll expand on their answer.