Hello. Me (21m) and my gf (20f) have been dating for 5 months . In the beginning of the relationship she seemed invested and would show a lot of affection . However lately she has been not as invested as the beginning. Her texts got short, she made excuses as to why we couldn’t go on dates, and her physical and sexual love has been reduced to a quick kiss.
This lead me to simply talk to her about how I feel. She told me in the beginning of the relationship that communication is important. So I believed her and told her I feel her pulling away and showing lack of interests in the relationship. She said she does her best but communication isnt that important to her and now has doubts that I can accept her further in the relationship. She then said she doesn’t know about the relationship. I asked her did she really want to break up and she said she doesn’t know and will text or call me after work about it.
I’ve been distraught about this because I never intended to break up with her . She told me in the beginning that she loves when I talk about my feelings but as soon as I tell her how I feel she entirely pulls away and wants to break up. Did i ruin the relationship by saying how I feel ans asking for something she apparently couldn’t give? I really loved this girl and I just don’t know what I will do if she calls me and breaks up over this. This just makes me not want to ever open up even if my partner tells me it’s okay.
3 comments
You got to live your truth, brother. If asking for affection and expressing your feelings is enough to damage the relationship, there wasn’t much of a relationship to begin with. It sounds like she’s drifting away. I think maybe you need to accept that and stop simping. Let me make clear, I don’t know that that’s the case and you shouldn’t just do something because someone on Reddit tells you to. But I can tell you for sure that confidence is attractive and being needy and whiney can turn people off.
I think there is more to her side of the story which would explain why things fell off. When someone’s demeanor changes to “I don’t know how I feel”, that is concerning. And unfortunately, I don’t know if you will get that answer. But I don’t think you ruined anything. The talk was inevitable.
She was already pulling away from the relationship, which caused you to talk to her about it. Your talking to her about her behavior didn’t cause it. She’s done with the relationship already. Sorry.