What are the possible reasons for this? Is it to avoid looking at each other’s bodies? Shame? Embarrassment?

When a woman says, “she’s fixed” does that mean she has an IUD or she had a hysterectomy?

31 comments

  1. Fixed implies she is sterile. So tubal ligation or hysterectomy.

    Lights off because they don’t want to be seen.

  3. Insecure about their body

    And fixed means tubes tied. We don’t have our uteruses ripped out to prevent pregnancy lol.

  4. You know something? I just always assumed the reason was because sex was always associated as a night time activity, that it’s done with the lights off. Mood is good. You have some good R&B music playing, and then you’re ready for sleeping. For parents, the kids are in bed. People can’t see inside of windows or see shadows.

    Now don’t get me wrong, yes, sex is an anytime activity….even with lights on. But the idea/stereotype is that it’s associated with night.

  5. I like the main overhead light off because I’m usually on the bottom so I don’t want to be staring into a bright light the whole time. But I don’t mind bedside lamps/other lights on.

  6. Some people like their mind movies more than their eye movies. Am not one of them. I love to see everything.

    Fixed could mean tubal ligation, like a vasectomy. Hysterectomy is screws up your hormones.

  8. I’m embarrassed about my appearance. Especially my face and boobs. So I prefer the lights off.

  9. Because it’s late and the lights are just off? Unless they are exclusively off. That’s different

  11. Okay Someone explain to me the “fixed” thing as well as this is my first time coming across that phrase specifically

  12. I want the lights off because I think my body is ugly to be honest. I’m afraid who I’m with will see me and be disgusted. Honestly its really sad to think about.

  13. when i was overweight i did this , for me it was insecurity with myself in how i looked and felt

  14. Lights on are a must for me, I want to see her everything since you only get to see it naked/ sex/ showering etc. I love seeing my girl enjoy everything. Mostly compatability, I dated a girl who always wants lights off because she was insecure and that was annoying. We’re not together needles to say.

  15. 1) I do it bc I can focus more on where I touch and how. So, i guess, it would be less lights = more feeling for me. More in tune with everything that way. Though at first (like 8 years ago) it was bc I was self conscious about my size, then found out I didn’t need to be. Discovered the other thing along the way

    2) I’m assuming a hysterectomy. I’m not of the female species, so I really don’t know for sure 🤷🏾‍♂️. Sorry haha. Can’t help there

  16. There can be many reasons but personally for me

    Lights off feels more intimate since it has more to do with how it makes you feel

    But Also eye contact matters so I suggest low lighting, maybe RGB if that’s your thing and a sexy playlist would do the trick

  17. Maybe try soft lighting or candlelight. Very flattering and a bit of a compromise. And if she’s willing make her feel really beautiful and let her know how great seeing more of her makes it feel for you. I think full light can make a lot of people feel insecure or may be a bit less romantic than more strategic lighting

  19. No idea about the second question.

    But as for lights off, sex in general is just great.

    Lights off also means you need to see with different senses. Fun to maximum.

  20. 100% of the time is insecurity. I liked having lights off until one time I got a horrible razor burn that scarred me so bad and my ex commented on it.

  21. I’ve always enjoyed feeling my way around in the dark; it’s more suspenseful and fun to me. Honestly though, I like both, because the visuals are a huge turn-on, too.

  22. I used to prefer lights off for sometime because I had really visible stretch marks and it made me really insecure. But now those have healed so I don’t care if there’s lights or not, unless it’s a really bright light, that would kill the mood.

  23. Because frankly, I don’t want to focus on sucking my stomach in, and my brain will write and perform a song about how garbage it thinks I look if I don’t do that.

    And then I’m forced to try and tell it to shut the fuck up and that there’s nothing WRONG with my stomach and it’ll either end with my brain picking a new thing to be insecure about for its body image issues concept album, or it will end with me ruining my own good time with focusing on actively trying to shut it up, or with making a stupid enough face while debating my brain that I’ll make the other person think something is way wrong. It’s not even the insecurity itself, it’s the active and conscious raging hate response to it. Like how dares this stupid thing in my skull try and do this to me.

    This usually was reasonably easy to fix by just turning a way you can’t see most things my brain likes to pick on, until I learned horrible but in hindsight pretty obvious things re: other things you then see way too much of. Just let me turn off the damn lights, whatever you picture is probably better than the face I’ll end up pulling anyway.

    On a seperate note I also have ADHD so there’s more than enough stupid low level distractions. Minimizing those is in both our interests, unless you REALLY want to hear the shark fact that randomly popped in my head because I spied the plush shark. And I also really don’t want to see the other persons stupid face they’re probably pulling while putting up with me randomly blurting out the shark fact :’)

    Also, I have large scars, and while women from my experience usually have enough sense to not bring it up mid sex, that was not always the case with men, and if I get to explain to you how I almost died as a baby because of a chronic illness that is going to kill me in the future I will literally take your phone, force you to unlock it, delete my number, and then kick you out of my life.

  24. Insecurity, especially if it’s the first time. I hate my body so I prefer it dark. Once Im comfortable with someone then I’m happy to have it lighter

  25. Doesn’t matter to me as long as the guy gives me a good f#£&*^% lol! 😂❤️‍🔥

  26. Overhead lighting is often unflattering. Dim lights set a better mood, you don’t have to worry so much about scars, double chins when you’re on top, laundry in the corner, plus it makes it nicer to fall asleep after.

  27. We woke each other up in the middle of the night, got right into it and can’t be bothered turning the lights on.

  29. For me it‘s more intense if it‘s dark and it’s nice sometimes. (So not all the time.) But I only started doing that with my boyfriend and not with hook-ups.

  30. For me it’s bc I’m self conscious. I love to see my partner naked but I don’t like him seeing my jiggly bits. My partner also seems weird with eye contact during, which is fine, so dark is just easier.

    Being “fixed” could mean having her tubes tied

  31. I wanted lights off when I was younger because I was shy, felt awkward, hated my body and was recovering from a sexual assault as a young teen.

    I’m 36 now and would probably have sex on stage, lit by a spotlight. I certainly don’t notice whether the lights are on or off.

    There are LOTS of different reasons someone might want the lights off, it isn’t a general thing and it can be different for the same person at different times in their life

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